Lose Yourself
by lexopedia
Summary: Ashley Davies could make Jesus blush. But this, this Spencer girl just smirked, and then did the impossible. She made Ashley Davies blush. She could fall for that girl. T for now. Read and review pleasee. Finally updated! Chapter Nine is up!
1. Last Name

**Author's Note:**

**So, I wanted to start a new story. I have the biggest brain fart with Cold, Hard Times so I wanted to start it with another idea I was having. It's normal, but it doesn't follow the story line much. Spencer's going to be sorta new, so Glen is too. Clay is going to already live there and have known everybody and is already with Chelsea. Madison is still Queen Bitch. Aiden is still Aiden. And there's going to be new characters that I'll explain and stuff. Though a quick note, Ashley and the new character I'll have in here are seniors, while the rest of the SON cast are going to be younger, I'll decide what when I type it, lol. Other new characters may be seniors, too but I'll explain then. I just thought you should know that now. Oh, except for Glen, too. He's a senior.**

**  
But basically it's Spencer moving there, them meeting, and Ashley going through shit.**

**  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. If I did... oh jeez. There'd be more seasons and Aiden wouldn't be such a stupid ass. I mean, come on. I liked him in season one and two when he didn't get in the way, when he was a good guy. But ohhhh noo, he has to step in the way and then totally diss Ashley because she needs help moving in and is still in love with Spencer which he KNOW all because he's going through 'the fog of life' haha. Wow, I totally rambled. But anyways, it make be a little slow in the beginning but it'll speed up and I've got a bunch of ideas for it anyways, so hopes you enjoy. :**

**--**

_**Chapter One**_

_**Last Name**_

"Ashhhhhhh," Kyla whined, giving her older sister a puppy dog pout.

Ashley looked like she was deep in thought and then shook her head. "No. I have to die before I let drive my Lamborghini," she thought about it a little longer and then added. "Even then, I'm a little scared."

Kyla pouted before crossing her arms and stomping away. Ashley merrily shook her head with a smirk and grabbed the keys to her Porsche.

"You know what, Ash?! You have two brand-spanking new cars that dad bought you and I still have your old SUV. How fucked up is that?!" her sister yelled from the kitchen. Ashley just shrugged and grabbed the two brownies and coffees she had already gathered off the table before walking out the door. She loved her sister, she really did, but not when she whined like that. _She has to be on that time of the month, _she concluded.

She got into her car and put the two coffees in the cup holdesr and her backpack into the passenger seat. She didn't get why Kyla didn't just ride with her. Yeah, sure they had a rockstar dad and could afford gas, but she cared about the enviroment, secretly. She had a 'Go Green' bra on.

The drive to school was the same as always. Though today she decided to listen to the classics and put in 'Joshua Tree' by U2 to listen to 'With or Without You' on repeat on a low volume, mouthing the words. She got to school pretty quick and was greeted by always Haley Dennison, her bestest friend in the whole wide world, who had her black hair up in a messy pony tail wearing something more than likely by Holister, but it really complimented her hazel eyes.

Ashley grinned big before getting out of the two coffees and brownies she had brought, of course handing one of each to Haley.

"Ah, do I ever tell you I love you?" Haley asked, snatching the brownie from her unwrapping it quickly to take a bite. She took the coffee afterward and took a huge sip, Ashley smirking the whole time.

"You use that line everday, Hales. You need to get a new line," she said and walked with her friend over to tables on the quad. "How's life?"

"Eh, same old, same old. Aiden's still hogging up all the bathroom time in the morning," she said and then took another bite of her brownie. "Do you know I caught him plucking his eyebrows the other day? I swear he's gay."

Ashley rolled her eyes. "You've thought that of the guy since he was in kindergarden."

"Because he is! He use to steal my make-up and he put it surprisingly good on too!" Ashley chuckled at her friend and then took a sip of her coffee. "Well, how about you, mi amor?"

"Same, I guess. Kyla's still, you know, Kyla. The brother is on tour with daddy-io, lucky asshole, and me? Well, I'm the only gay kid at King High, and Madison's big head attacks me day after day after day. It gets annoying, you know?" she rambled.

"Hmm, maybe we should tell Mads to respect her elders. And you are not the only gay kid at King High, uhmm, hello? Me, maybe," Haley said, raising one of her eyebrows before seeing Ashley's look. "Oh, out and datable gay kid... right?" she said and got a little quiet, finishing the rest of her brownie. "You know what we're doing in stupid Life Management that we waited to take our last year and now we're stuck with stupid freshmen and sophomores and the occasional junior?"

Ashley smirked. That was their plan freshmen year because they really didn't want to take it so they were just like 'Lets do it our senior year!'. Stupidest idea ever. They need that credit to graduate so they _actually _have to pass the class. "Don't we have a guess speaker of some sort?"

"Yeah, it's a guess speaker to talk to you, Queers. You know, change your paths?" none other then Madison said. Sheri and the other cheer bitches behind her with a smirk on their faces that were identical to Madison. _Okay, that's creepy. They deserve to be in a TV show_, Ashley thought.

"Jesus, Madison, do you have to bother us this early in the morning. I'm not really in the mood for it," Haley said, sipping her coffee. Madison eye'd the coffee before taking a few steps back, remembering what happened last year the last time she pissed off Haley and she had coffee. She couldn't get the smell off of her for days.

"Whatever, you're not worth our time," the cheerleader said before walking away, her minions following her.

"And you're not worth my breath," the brunette mumbled, just opening her brownie and taking a bite out of it. Haley looked over at her.

"You okay, bud? You seem pretty weird today. Not your usual self," Haley noted, putting an arm around her friend. Ashley bit her lip and then sighed.

"I miss how is use to be, Hales. I miss Brett and my dad. Kyla not being a bitch. And most of all, I miss Carmen," she sighed, biting her lip again and looked at her friend. "I'll be fine, no doubt. I'm just having one of those days, you know?"

Haley nodded and squeezed her friend shoulder reasurringly. "You will be fine," and as if on cue, the bell rang, telling them to go to first period. Ashley finished her brownie and the two downed their coffee before heading to the gym. They sat way up the in the bleachers, pretty much all alone. Until Rachel made her way and basically sat on top of Haley, wrapping her arms around her.

Haley and Rachel were together, and had been for the past two months, but they both weren't out. Yeah, people suspected it, but they denied. Why? Their parents would have them sent somewhere, give them the exercism, all that good stuff. Haley's mom doesn't even know about Ashley, but Rachel, or as they call her, Rae's parent's knew all about Ashley and she's scared to set foot in there without being flunged Holy Water at. They were inlove, no doubt. All over each other, even in front of people, though that was much more freindlier then when it was behind close doors.

"I missed you," Rae said softly. Ashley made a gagging noise and got flicked off by the both of them, causing all three of them to laugh. They were best friends, though Rae failed kindergarden, not being the brightest crayon in the crayon box. Okay, that's a lie, she just didn't go to school because she was still scared of the toliet. That story will end there.

The next and last person to sit with the trio was Meghan, the sophomore that looked up to Ashley and needed help coming out of the closet. She had a crush on Ashley, which the brunette saw as cute, but she could never date her. She reminded her too much of her sister and plus she was going off to college surprisingly, they'd never have anytime together, but she wanted to be her friend.

"Hey guys," she said shyly. She took the seat next to Ashley and leaned her head against her. Ashley put her arm around her in a sisterly and protective way, knowing the girl was tired. She moved the dirty blonde hair out of the younger girl's face and then looked down at the guidance conselor who was about to start class.

"Hello. I'm Ms. Harris, the guidance conselor and I'm here to talk to you about sucide," Ashley's face went pale when that was said. She felt the stare's of her two best friend's on her and tensed up. Meghan must've felt it because she lifted her head up to look at Ashley. The brunette could've sworn she said something but wasn't listening. She just listened to the Ms. Harris' next words. "Now, I know this is a tough subject so if you can't take it, feel free leave anytime you want."

Ashley didn't hesitate to gather her stuff and start going down the bleachers. She felt many eyes on her, but she didn't care. She wasn't going to sit here and learn about it and all that stuff. Her girlfriend went through with it. It was just going to bring back rough memories that she didn't need to remember right now. She left the gym and went out to the quad, putting her stuff down on the table and sitting down.

She was honestly waiting for Haley or Rae or even Meghan to follow her, but she was surprised when somebody she didn't even know sat at next to her. She saw her walk in through the gym, so she had her Life Management class, but she's never seen her around before that. She had to be new, otherwise Ashley would've noticed her. She was beautiful.

"Hi," she said softly. "Sore subject?" the brunette nodded. "Yeah, me too," the new girl said. A soft sigh escaped her lips before she smiled at the brunette. "I'm Spencer," she said and put her hand out.

"Ashley," she said, shaking her hand for a second. _She has hella soft hands, _the brunette thought before letting go of her hand.

"I know. I'm the alternate for the cheerleading squad. Madison harass' you daily," the blonde said with small nod. Ashley looked at the blonde.

"How long have you been here?" she asked. She was sure that she's never seen that girl before, it was an impossible.

"About a month, give or take," she said and looked up at the morning sky, yawning softly.

"Why are you a cheerleader?" Ashley asked randomly.

"Why do you like girls?" the blonde shot back with a small smirk.

"Because I can't change that," she said slowly, not knowing where the question came from.

"And I can't change that I love cheerleading, even if other people think it's stupid," Spencer said, glancing over at the brunette, who pursued her lips after her answer and then smirked.

"I guess that makes sense."

"It should, especially to you."

Ashley kept her lips pursued as she looked at something on the table, picking at it a little because she was a little nervous, like people are when they meet someone new and don't know what to say. "So where'd you move from?" she asked, trying to make small talk.

"Cinncinati. Lived there my whole life," she said and leaned against the table.

Ashley smirked. "No wonder you're sweating. Not use to the humdity or heat?"

"Not at all. I'm use to wearing shorts when it's 60 degrees."

"Heh, god, I dress up like it's the ice age when it's like that," Ashley shivered at the thought.

"Jeez, you could never last in snow," Spencer smirked.

"Maybe if you were there with me. We'd be so hot that the ice would melt," the brunette said with a small grin. Yeah, she was a flirt, a big one at that. Plus, the girl knew she was gay and had to know she was hot so Ashley couldn't help but flirt with her sometimes.

"Maybe," she said, to Ashley's surprise. "Though I think your big ego will be enough."

"Ha, you're saying she has an ego now, you don't even know," Haley said, coming up behind with Rae.

"Yeah, it gets worse when she starts talking to herself in third person," Rae said. The two sat down across from Spencer and Ashley.

"Shut it. Guys, this is Spencer, hottie, this is Rae and Haley," she said, and still to Ashley's surprise the girl did not blush.

"She does seem like the type to do that," Spencer said, turning her attention to the two new arrivals, and smiled at Meghan, who came also. "Hi," she said softly, probably seeing that she was pretty young. She merely smiled at her and took her seat next to Ashley, who smiled at Meghan.

"This is Meghan, the shy one," Ashley said, poking her in the side to get her to smile, but she blushed bright red.

"I'm Spencer," she said and then looked up at Ashley. "Well, it was nice to meet you, but I'm gonna jet to the library. Got a report due tomorrow and I've hardly started it so mine as well use the free time to my adavantage. Bye, everybody," she said, grabbing her stuff and leaving.

"Bye," the four said.

Ashley would be lying if she said she didn't watch Spencer leave, and didn't enjoy Spencer's view from behind.

"Your drooling," Rae said, leaning onto her arm as she looked at Ashley.

"Hm?" Ashley asked, still watching Spencer walk to the library. Right before the blonde walked in, she looked back at Ashley. The brunette smiled and winked at the blonde, who smirked, still not blushing. Why did her not blushing somewhat bother Ashley? _Because it meant that I didn't have the control over her like I did other girls._

"Ashley?!" Haley asked, snapping her fingers in front of her. The brunette snapped out of it, looking at her friends.

"What?" she asked annoyed, turning her full attention to them.

"_Somebody's gotta a crush,_" Rae and Haley said in a sing-song voice. Ashley glared at them.

"She's hot, that's all," she said, crossing her arms. She looked at Meghan, who was biting her lip. She loved the girl and all, but she really needed to get over her. Everytime Ashley has a crush or thinks somebody's hot, she never wanted Meghan to find out because she got all sad and antisocial and stuff. It was just hard.

"Mhm, sure, and Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton are friends again," Haley said, causing Ashley and Rae to laugh.

"You are so weird. But fine, she seems.. interesting. But I don't like her, like her. It's potenial, though," she said. Her two other friends just nodded their heads, but not in an understanding way, but more like 'yea-right' way. "Whatever, I can never explain stuff to you guys."

"I'm going to go back, I think we need to learn about this or something," Meghan said quietly before leaving the table. Ashley frowned a bit as she left, but didn't say anything.

"Now you can go talk to Spencer," Rae said when Meghan was back into the gym. Ashley rolled her eyes, but soon found herself into a forceful hold and dragged to the library.

"What are you guys doing?! I'm going to kill you guys!! You motherf- Hi Spencer," she said as she stopped fighting, smiling fakely at the blonde who was in front of a computer, trying to contain her laugh.

"We're going to go," Rae said and grabbed Haley before another word was said. Ashley made sure they saw her glare before they left, before turning her attention back to the blonde.

"Hi," Spencer said and nodded towards the chair next to her, telling her to take a seat. Ashley did and put her login and password into the computer.

"So, what are you doing here?" the blonde asked, the smile on her face told Ashley that she knew that she was brought here.

"Thought I'd go onto Myspace. And you know, my friends think that we'd be a perfect couple and have babies and shit," she said with a small smirk. Spencer laughed and looked at her.

"Okay, one Myspace is blocked, I've already tried. And two, two girls can't make babies, unless you want to tell me something," she said, quirking her eyebrow at Ashley.

"One, my middle name is 'Hacker'. I know how to get onto anything on this computer. And two, my fingers can work just like that something that I don't have," she said, glancing over at Spencer to see she didn't have a horrfied look on her face like any other cheerleader would if she said that to them.

"One, you got to teach me how to do that because I have free period fifth period and I'm always in here trying to get one. And two, so these fingers produce sperm? Have you gotten anybody pregnant, Davies?" she said with a small giggle. Ashley couldn't help but burst out laughing when she said that.

"One, luckily for you, I have free period fifth period too, and though I ussually leave campus, I will show you. It's very easy. And two, wooooow. No comment," she smirked, putting her login into Myspace.

Spencer laughed and glanced at Ashley. "One, thanks. And two, you said it worked just like something you don't have, and something you don't have produces sperm, so.. I was just wondering."

"Still no comment," she said. "And not a problem," she looked stuff up on her myspace. She had a message from an ex girlfriend but she ignored it for now and looked at her comments. She liked the picture she had, it was her showing off the belly button ring she had just gotten with a short tanktop and short shorts. She also had her glasses on that she never really wore to school unless it went with her outfit or she just felt like it. She currently had them in their case in her backpack. Anyways, the piercing had a heart on it and it looked good, unlike Rae's who got infected since she did it herself. So did Ashley, but she knew what she was doing.

"You have a belly button ring?" Spencer asked, scootching closer to Ashley to see the picture. Ashley nodded, lifting up her shirt seductively towards Spencer with a smirk so she could see it. Unexpectively, Spencer ran her hand softly over it. "Does it hurt?" she asked softly, but Ashley was too busy controling her breathing. Spencer was touching her stomache, and Spencer was hot. She ussually could control it, well because one, the girl she ussually is with is either drunk or gay, and two, she's ussually drunk too, neither of them are drunk so it's not good. She nodded after a few seconds of noticing Spencer asked a question. Spencer moved her hand from her stomache. "Oh, sorry, I didn't know it hurt," she said.

"Oh wait no, it.. it doesn't hurt. I wasn't listening," _Smooth, Davies._ She said and mentally kicked herself. Spencer smirked and Ashley bit her lip back, wondering if she was blushing. _This isn't how it's suppose to be, she was suppose to be blushing and I was suppose to have the smirk. _

"Smooth one, Davies," she said with a smirk, as if she read Ashley's mind.

"Shut it. Your hands were cold and soft, how do you expect me to consentrate when a hot girl is touching me with cold and soft hands?" she said, raising her eyebrow. The girl already knew that Ashley thought she was hot, mine as well just use that as an excuse. Spencer still just merely smirked and shook her head, the red tint still not there.

"Whatever, Davies, whatever," she said. Ashley glared at her, running her tongue against the inside part of her lip ring that she had since her freshmen year.

"Not fair that you know my last name, and I don't know yours," the brunette said in a five year old way, causing Spencer to laugh a bit. The bell rang and Spencer grabbed her stuff, and was about to leave before she turned around to looked at Ashley.

"You're gonna have to figure that out yourself, Davies," she said, and winked at Ashley before leaving the library.

The brunette sat there with a smile for a few seconds, the girl got to her good, and fast.

_I like her and I don't even know her last name._

**Continue?**


	2. Hot N Cold

Author's Note:

**Author's Note:**

**Okay. I loved ALL the reviews. They were all awesome. **

**But yeah, loved the reviews. I don't have anything else to say so heres chapter dos.**

**--**

_**Chapter Two**_

_**Hot N Cold**_

"Spencer, where were you, girl?" Madison asked Spencer. When the blonde gave her a confused look, she added. "You didn't meet us at the gym after first period."

"Oh, sorry. I was at the library," she said, her thoughts not entirely on Madison.

"You skipped?" the Latina asked with a little shock in her voice.

"No, I was allowed in a way," she said, glancing at the head cheerleader. She was taking the notes for her second period, Pre-Calculus class. She already went over this in her sophomore year, but she really didn't want to deal with the girl who was trying to be her best friend. Madison gave her a small confused look and then shrugged, turning to her other side to talk to Sheri. _Thank god,_ Spencer thought. Yeah, the Latina was cool, _sometimes,_ but the girl wanted to know where she was twenty four/seven. _I bet she's gay, too_, Spencer thought and smirked a bit at that. _That would be a little funny_.

Spencer had figured out she had liked girls back in Ohio. She actually had three girlfriends down there, not one of them was her world though. She was still looking for that one. She liked Davies, of course, but the look on her face when Spencer messed with her, it made the blonde laugh. Spencer wanted to mess with her a bit, see the real her and get to know her before she _actually _starts thinking about a relationship. For now, she's set on playing hard to get.

--

Ashley chewed on her gum as she looked at the principal, hoping that she'd let her drop this new schedule. "But Mr. P, being a peer means helping teachers. I don't like teachers, no offense. I like principals, actually that's a lie. But I like you, you're amazing. It's just, teachers, they don't like me, and they may like send me into a room and have another teacher lock it or something," she said, being a little too overdramatic about it, but hey, anything to drop the class.

He sighed and pushed his glasses back a bit so they were fixed right. "Look Ash, I was nice enough to give you two free periods because you've done amazing your four years of school except a few behavioral problems," by a few, he means thousands. "So be nice enough to just be a peer for this class. She could use help with grading papers and watching the class when she has to step out of the room for a minute. Just, please, Ashley," he said.

Ashley made a face and crossed her arms. "Not cool, Mr. P, not cool. You just give me a guilt trip," she snatched the schedule back from him and looked at the room number. "Fine, I'll do it. But if this teacher doesn't like me-"

"You can have this as free period again. But it has to be a real reason, and believable," he said before smiling at her. "Thank you, that'll stop her complaints for awhile.

_She's a complainer, great. _"You owe me, Principal Finkel, you owe me," she said, though he really didn't. He's gotten her out of trouble so many times, she owes him a lot. _Eh, we'll just be even now._ She quickly found herself to the room and walked in, not even taking a second to look at the people in there, she didn't really care. All she wanted to do was make the period fly by. "Hola, Mrs. D, I shall be your savior for this school year, being you peer and all," she said, even though the teacher was in the middle of explaining how something Ashley could care less about doing. The teacher glared at her for a second before her faced lit up.

"Peer? Thank god. There's test on my desk that need to be graded. The answer key is on top of it. If you can do as many periods as possible," she said.

Ashley just merely nodded before going to the desk and going through the test. She flew by second periods, some test she was tempted to scribble stuff out and put wrong answers, but there was no way Mr. P could get her out of that referral so she decided against it. She had scholarships that she wanted to keep even though she could pay to get in, it was nice feeling smart.

When she got to third periods, she slowed down. She only had like ten minutes left for that period but she really only had to do second periods, and her hand hurt, so she just decided to look for Rae's test, since she had Mrs. Darber next. Instead of finding Rae's though, she found Spencer's, or least she thought it was Spencer's. Her lips twitched up into a smile, seeing that the last name dilemma had been solved. _Carlin, hmm? That's cute. Spencer Carlin._ She grabbed the answer key and began grading Spencer's, only needing to glance back and forth from the answer key to her test, which pretty much looked exactly like the answer key. She smiled and in red sharpie wrote, **100. Good Job ,**__at the top. She put it down, making sure she put it in a pile for third period graded test and made her way for grading as many as she could before the bell rang. When it did, she didn't rush out of there, she actually finished the last one that needed to be graded, which was Rae's and she got a 90, and put the test into neat stack for the teacher. The only reason she was doing that was because she wanted to catch Spencer since this was her third period class, tell her she knew her last name. And to see her.

Ashley gathered her stuff and began to walk out the door, as soon as she went to turn down the hall, Spencer was coming down it. The blonde smiled when she saw her and Ashley reflexively smiled back. "Hello Carlin," she said with a smirk. Spencer looked at her with a small smirk, though she was noticeably taking aback that the brunette figured out her last name.

"Are you a stalker or something? First you pop out of my next class and then you know my last name. That kind of screams out 'stalker', you know?" the blonde said playfully, leaning against the wall as she talked to the brunette.

Ashley smirked. "Actually, I'm a peer for her second period, as of today at least, and I graded your test. Their aren't that many Spencer's around here, so I assumed it was you," _Actually, now I hoped it. What if it wasn't? That'd be a little embarrassing._

"Mm, I should've played dumb," _Okay, does this girl read minds? _"What'd I get on the test?"

"Dude, you failed badly. I mean, I almost didn't want to grade it," she lied, trying to keep a smirk off of her face.

Spencer's faces twisted into a small frown, making Ashley almost want to tell the truth but she stood her ground. "I knew I was going to tank it. Guess I didn't study hard enough," she said and then glanced up at the clock that was on the wall. "Well, I got to get to class. See you at the library, fifth period?"

"It's a date," the brunette said and watched Spencer walk a few steps to her class. Ashley turned around, still smiling as she began making her way to journalism.

--

Spencer put her stuff down and got her notebook out to do the 'Do Now' that was up on the board. Her teacher thought she was funny and but 'Not Later', thinking that would make the students get the point. They did, they just didn't want to do it.

She bit her lip softly as she thought about the question. **Which would be better, the sun making the Earth's tempature go warmer or colder? Explain. **Spencer honestly had no idea. If there was one thing that Spencer sucked at, was space science. It was hard for her since she just wasn't interested at all with it, it was just boring. _Stupid scientist who had to try to figure out what was out there. If we just minded our own business, we wouldn't have this stupid shit. _She thought. She jotted down a guess before hearing the teacher call her name. "Hm?"

"Come get your test," Mrs. Darber told her and she groaned as she got up. She wondered how bad she did. She really spaced out when she was studying for that test and hardly tried to read information in the textbook. She knew she flunked. She got up from her chair and walked over to get the paper, not even looking at it until she was at her seat. She was dumbfounded when she saw the 100 written neatly on the paper. She smiled a little too big when she saw the '**Good Job**' on there.

_Yeah, I no doubt like this Davies._

--

Ashley made it to Journalism right before the bell rang and sat in her usual seat next to her sister, who glared at her, obviously still irritated since she didn't let her drive the car. _She'll get over it._ Haley walked in a little after the bell rang, Ashley knew who she was with since her lip gloss was a little smudged, and took the other seat next to Ashley and turned to towards the brunette, almost yanking her out of the chair.

"Tell me about what happened in the library," her friend said.

Ashley fixed her shirt, since that was how she was yanked, before saying anything. "We talked, that's it," it wasn't completely a lie. Haley gave her a look, telling her that she thought there was more to the story. "And she's cool. I may like her," okay that was a lie. She knew that she liked her but Haley knew he better than that, so she knew the truth. It was just how they talked about people they liked, but the other knew the truth.

"_You really like her; you want to marry her, you-_"

"Can you be anymore 'Mrs. Congeniality'?" the brunette asked, giving her a small glare. "I don't even know if she's gay. Plus, there's that thing, at home," she said, whispering the last part.

"She's seems understanding enough for the last part," Haley said. _Like that would be the easiest thing to explain. 'Oh hey Spencer, I gotta tell you something-'_

"What are you guys talking about?" her sister cut into her thoughts and she looked over at her.

"Ashley's got a new crush," Haley answered for her. Ashley turned her head to glare at Haley before she got another question asked to her.

"Oh, who?"

"This Spencer chick,"

"You know I can answer for myself," Ashley said, but they seemed to ignore her.

"Carlin?" Ashley looked at her sister.

"How do you know her?"

"Spirit Team," her sister said like it was the obvious thing in the world. Ashley had forgotten Kyla was on the squad, maybe it was because she didn't have to wait after school for her anymore since she got her license and it's not like she attends any of the games.

"Right."

"She's straight, I hope you know. Madison thinks she's crushing on Aiden," Kyla said. The other two girls' faces curled up into disgust when that was said.

"Ew," they said in unison.

"Maybe you shouldn't like her. If you like him, you have the worse taste in the world," Haley said, still shuddering at the thought.

"Uhm, hello? I like him," Kyla said defensively.

"Ew. I did not know that."

"Anyways, back to you liking straight girl here, at least you have good taste. She has amazing eyes. If I could choose the eye color for me, it'd be hers," the younger Davies' said.

Ashley held back her smile when she thought of those eyes and instead teased her little sister. "Sometimes I wonder if you're gay, too."

"Ewwww! Ashley!" her sister whined, causing some of the class to look at them.

That must've snapped Mr. Q's attention because all of a sudden he was done with whatever he was doing. "Sorry, I was grading some papers. So who has their articles done?"

The three girls raised their hands. If there was one class that Ashley loved the most, it would be this one. And not only because it was basically a free period most of time since he let them work on their articles during class and she's usually done with hers, but because she loved writing. She was one of the student editors for him, so were Haley and about three other seniors. But Ashley was editor of chief of all the editors, worked on the Newspaper layout (since they did the Newspaper), and helped Mr. Q grade. She really loved this class and took it all four years of high school.

"Good, good. Ashley, do what you do, and if any problems, come to me," he said and then went back to his laptop. She knew he was editing over her work from last week. They desperately tried to do a Newspaper every three weeks but that had been proven hard.

--

After third period, came fourth period, and after fourth period came fifth period.

Ashley sat in front of one of the computers and was already on Myspace when Spencer came in. It was almost as if Ashley could feel the blonde come in because right when Spencer opened the door, Ashley glanced back to see her enter, the smile she got every time she saw her on her face. Spencer smiled back at her and took the seat next to her.

"Okay, brownie, show me how to get on Myspace," she said. Ashley tilted her head at her with a weird look.

"Brownie?"

"Yes, brownie. Sooner or later, you're going to call me blondie, so I mine as well start calling you brownie."

"Actually, technically, if you think about it, the correct term for that would be brunettie," she said with a smirk. Spencer laughed at the comment.

"That was a good one, Davies," she said with a small smirk.

In that moment, Ashley realized that Spencer had never said her name. It was always, 'Davies' or now 'brownie', but never Ashley. She kind of wanted to hear Spencer say her name now, with her sexy little voice. "Yeah, well anyway, just log in and I'll do the work," she said and watched Spencer log in. Spencer glanced at her, and Ashley almost felt as if she needed to look away, but instead she just continued to look at the blonde, smiling slightly.

"I'm mad at you," the younger girl said randomly, causing the older girl to raise an eyebrow.

"Why is that?"

"You lied to me."

"When did I lie to- Ooohh," Ashley said and laughed a bit, remembering the test thing. "Eh, you were going to find out sooner or later. I just wanted to make you smile when you got your test or something," the brunette admitted, slightly sheepish about it.

"Even though you wouldn't see it?" the blonde asked, glancing back at the computer screen to see that it had loaded up to her homepage.

The brunette shrugged. "But you did," she said with a small smile. Spencer tilted her head to the side and smiled lightly at her. Ashley's heart might've skipped a beat because she looked so adorable.

"You're sweet for admitting that," the blonde said, but before Ashley said anything, or could think of anything to say, she turned back to her computer. "So, Ms. Hacker, how do we do this?" Ashley pushed Spencer's chair aside, since they were rolling ones, making Spencer laugh a bit. "Hey!" she said and rolled the chair right next to Ashley. And by right next, that means thighs touching right next. It made it hard for Ashley to focus on that then look at Spencer, but she did it. Within a minute, Ashley had gotten her onto Myspace. "How did you do that?"

"I just made you an administrator. They can't see what you're on and you can go on anything," she said and rolled over to her computer to check her stuff. The only thing she had was the message from the ex girlfriend and she considered checking it.

"Kayla's in Law Study's with me," the blonde said, referring to her ex. "She's pretty cool."

Ashley looked over at her and bit the side of her lip that didn't have a lip ring, trying to decide if she should let her know who that was to her. "That's my ex girlfriend," she told her. "We went out for awhile."

"Why'd you break up?" she asked curiously.

"Reasons," the brunette said softly. Spencer got the point and didn't say anything else. "Do you mind? I don't know what the message is going to say, so..." she asked nicely. Spencer nodded and turned her attention towards her Myspace. Ashley opened the message and read through it.

**Hey Ash.**

**Look, I'm not sure if were friends or not, but I know you love music. I have two extra tickets to a Nickelback concert and if you want them both, you can have em. I got them for free so it's not like your taking anything, really.**

**And I still want to be friends. I get why we broke up, and I won't hold it against you. You're a fun person to hang around so don't be afraid talk to me.**

**  
Think about the concert.**

**Peace**

Kayla was a country girl. She didn't have the accent, but her heart belonged there. She loved most country music, she rode horses, she hunted with her dad, and her style was usually a white shirt, jeans and cowboy boots, but she was a great person. Really pretty, nice to talk too. She had a Marilyn Monroe piercing and was always asking Ashley if she would go with her to get a tattoo while they were dating but they never got around to it.

_She had always been a sweetheart._ Ashley thought before replying.

**Of course, Kay, I'd love to have the tickets, that's really nice of you (considering everything I've put you through / you're too nice). But thanks, really, that's super nice of you.**

**And I do too. I miss hanging up with you and I'm really glad you forgive me (or at least I hope you have).**

**Give me the rest of the info later**

**Peace**

She sent the message and the looked over at Spencer, seeing she was looking through her pictures. Ashley almost drooled when she saw one of Spencer in a bikini, but then saw something else that caught her attention. "Wait, wait, you have a tattoo?" she asked surprised. The blonde nodded and lifted her shirt up. It was on the side of her stomach and it was a rose with a few pedals falling down but it looked like it had all of the pedals. Ashley did what Spencer had done with her bellybutton ring and lightly touched it, feeling her hand over it. "It's cool," she said, still lightly touching it. "What does it mean?" She asked, removing her hand and looked up at Spencer.

The blonde released her shirt and looked at Ashley. "That no matter how much I've gone through, I can make it through and still be me," she said simply. Ashley nodded with a smile.

"I like that idea. It's really cool and has a really good meaning," she said.

"Yeah, it got me through some stuff," she said with a small smile and kept going through the pictures.

Ashley nodded a bit and smiled before turning back to her computer.

_I really hope this girl isn't straight. And she can accept my past._

--

**Author's Note: **

**Okay, that's a long ass chapter. I did this ALL in one day. But things you should know:**

**The principal's name is infact Mr. Finkel, I didn't mess up there, but Ashley calls him Mr. P because that stands for Mr. Principal for her.**

**There is infact and a big secret that Ashley has that only a select few people of Ashley has and that will be in the next chapter**

**The OC's (Original Characters) are going to play big roles in here. Kayla, Ashley's recent ex, is going to be big in here and I may even have a small chapter or little section all to some of the OC's view.**

**  
Aiden is going to make a show being Haley's brother and all, I just haven't fitted him in there yet. Same with Chelsea, Clay, and Glen.**

**Madison, Spencer, and Kyla are juniors. I don't know if that may pop up or not so I decided just tell you here.**

**Uhm. I think that's it.**

**  
I'm not really sure of I like this chapter or not. I think I do but I may not. So tell me what you think and review, cause I love em.**

And hopefully this chapter will hold you over for awhile :

**-Nikki**


	3. Please Excuse My Hands

Lose Yourself

**Author's Note:**

**Hehe. EagleSenior has got it right for what Ashley's secreto is. It's sort of predictable but I thought it'd be sorta cute I guess. **

**Oh, and I'm going to have Brooke from One Tree Hill in here as Ashley's cousin, but I don't want it to be really like OTH type, ya know? Just sort of like she looks like her, sounds like her and acts like her. Except her last name is Davies instead of Davis. Okay?**

**But anyways, I wanted to update soon so. Low and behold.**

**Enjoy**

**--**

_**Chapter Three**_

_**Please Excuse My Hands**_

The two exchanged Myspace URL's before the bell rang, signaling them that they had sixth period.

"So, I've got lunch this period, who do you have?" the younger girl asked as they walked out of the library.

"Calculus."

"When do you have lunch?"

"Seventh. I usually just leave though, it being the last period of the day. Who do you have seventh?" she asked, remembering she had a spare dollar; she stopped at the pop machine to buy a Dr. Pepper.

Spencer stopped when the brunette had and frowned. "AP English. Teacher's a hardass," she said, causing the brunette to laugh.

"Let me guess, Ms. Jones?" the blonde nodded. "I had her last year, too. The grey hair she has, it's from me. She's only like thirty two," they both laughed and Ashley took a long sip of her soda before she offered some to Spencer. Before Spencer got a chance to take her own, Madison had stopped her.

"Um, Spencer? Do you know where her mouth has been?" she asked. Aiden was standing dumbly next to the head cheerleader, messing with his messenger bag strap.

Spencer turned to look at Madison, the Dr. Pepper still in hand and took a long sip of it. "I've took a sip of your apple juice, the risk can't be much different," the blonde said before turning back to Ashley, who's jaw was basically touching the floor.

"I want a girl like that, standing up for herself. That's hot," Aiden said, causing Ashley to role her eyes. He sounded like a five year old picking out a piece of candy.

"Big mistake, Carlin. To let you know, I make and break reputations. Better watch what you say, I may kick you off the squad if you keep it up."

"Bite me, Duarte," she said. _Okay, Aiden's right, that's hot. _"Lets go, Davies," she said in a demanding type voice.

"Yes, Madame," Ashley said and followed her with a huge smirk on her face. "That was pretty awesome. Though you're going to get ragged on for doing that."

"Don't care. You've been cooler to me today then anybody else I've known for the past month. Except your sister, she's pretty cool," the blonde said and then frowned when the bell rang. "You gotta get to class."

"I could skip. It's not like I never have," she said with a small smile. Spencer shook her head.

"No, we'll save the skipping for later when it's worth the risk. Right now, it doesn't really matter. We'll talk later," she said.

"Worth the risk?" the brunette asked.

"Bye, brownie." Spencer said, ignoring Ashley's comment and started walking away.

Ashley waved at her even though her back was turned to her. "Bye blondie," she said softly and walked to her math class.

--

Spencer twirled the pasta she had on her plastic fork. Word had gone around that she stood up for Ashley (which in a way she didn't, she just dissed Madison) and apparently, that wasn't cool.

"Spencer, right?" a blonde that Spencer knew from somewhere asked. She was holding her bag of food in one hand and her bottle of water in another.

Then it clicked in Spencer's mind who it was. "Yeah, Kayla?" the other blonde nodded. "What's up?" she asked, nodding towards the seat next to her, telling her to sit down.

Kayla sat down on the seat next to her and opened her bag to begin eating. "Nothing, just heard that your social reputation is damaged for the day," Kayla said with a smirk.

Spencer quirked an eyebrow. "The day?"

The other blonde nodded. "It's like a twenty four hour penalty to diss Madison. Then she'll forgive you and give you another chance, blah blah blah. I've done that tango, it gets old after awhile," the girl said with a frown.

Spencer laughed, she was already tired of it. "You were friends with Queen Bitch?"

"It's Royal Bitch, and yes. Once upon a time I was. She was a better person back then. Her ass wasn't that huge and her head was slightly smaller," she smirked. Spencer couldn't help but laugh. Madison did have a huge ass and head.

"What happened?"

"I'm gay. That's social kill. But I don't care, it only prepares me for what I'm going to have to go through in life, ya know?" she told Spencer.

She slowly nodded her head, understanding that. She took a bite of her pasta, it wasn't half bad, but it was definitely undercooked. "Do your lunch ladies try to kill you guys or something?"

"You should try the chicken. I swear mine moved once," she smirked and took a sip of her water. Spencer laughed. "I'm not kidding. I've brought my lunch since then."

"Wow, that's scary," she smiled.

"So, you know Ashley?" she asked slowly.

Spencer looked at Kayla and then nodded. "Yeah, I met her today," she said, not really sure what else to say.

"Mm, she's cool."

"She told me you guys use to date."

"Yeah, that was once upon a time, too. Except that wasn't too long ago," she said. She began messing with her water bottle cap, twisting it and untwisting it.

"If you don't mind me asking, why'd you guys break up?" she asked slowly, not wanting to push any buttons.

Kayla made a face and scratched behind her ear, like she always did when she was asked a tough question or something she didn't really want to answer. She sucked in a breath slowly and looked at Spencer. "I kind of mind. It's sort of complicated. But she's a good person. Never listen to what Madison has to say about her."

"So she never slept around?"

"Okay, that she did, but there's always reasoning for that stuff, ya know?" she said, she started to twist and untwist her water bottle cap again.

"Did she get illegally married?"

Kayla looked at her with a weird face. "That might've happened."

"Did she date that creep, Aiden?"

"That was her 8th grade year. You can forgive people for that."

"Miscarriage?"

Kayla stopped and looked at Spencer. "That didn't happen," she said.

"Was she suicidal?"

"9th grade, but it's different than what Madison says," she said. Spencer could tell that Kayla was trying to tell only fact and not give any personal information so she decided to stop.

"I'll stop there."

"You like her."

Spencer laughed. "Is it that noticeable?"

"No, it's my gaydar. And any sane gay girl would like Ashley Davies. That's like a phase of its own," she said with a small smirk.

"Did you love her?" she asked, knowing she may have been a little to straight forward but she wanted to know if she was easy to fall in love with or not. Just a little insight of being with her.

Kayla tensed up a bit and took a sip of her water. "Yes, I did," she said in a soft whisper. She turned to look at Spencer. " But I don't anymore. I did the impossible, I got over her," she said, somewhat proudly of herself.

Spencer smiled, thinking about it. Did she want to go for the complicated brunette? _Well yeah. Lets see, she's hot, she's sweet, she's funny, and did I mention she was hot? But then again, the rumors are true, or at least part of them. That's not exactly a good thing._

"Look, if you like her, be careful. She's great in all in the beginning, but stuff happens towards the middle to make the end come too fast," the other blonde said before gathering her stuff. "I have free period next, so I'm just going to jet. Save me a seat in Law Study's tomorrow, kay?" she said.

"Yeah, yeah of course. Bye," she said. Kayla waved and Spencer looked down at her food. She decided to throw it away and then go to the library. This happened to be her favorite place today.

She, of course, got onto Myspace and looked at none other than Davies' profile. She loved her song.

"**Please excuse my hands, they just wanna touch,  
They just wanna feel, they don't mean no harm  
Baby just excuse my hands, please excuse my hands,  
I apologize they have a one track mind, squeeze on yo behind,  
Baby just excuse my hands, Please excuse my hands."**

It was catchy, and kind of what Spencer had to think about every time she saw the brunette. She resisted her urge to touch her lip ring or graze her cheek. She just looked so touchable. _Katy Perry wasn't lying when she said that. _

She loved her profile layout. It looked like drawn peace signs and then fingers doing the peace sign. It was pretty cool. She went to Ashley's pictures and looked at all of them. She saw one of Ashley and Kayla, they were cute together. The country girl and the rebel. _Sounds like a corny TV show I'd watch._

She looked through the rest of the pictures, seeing some with her and her friends, smiling at some of them and just plain bursting out laughing at the others. They were crazy.

Before she liked it to have, the bell rang. She logged out of Myspace and then her school account before gathering her stuff and walked towards her AP class.

--

Ashley had fallen asleep during Calculus, even though she was sitting in the front row, she slept peacefully. When the bell rang, she got up alarmed, but then gathered her stuff when Haley and Rae both told her that it was time to go. They laughed at her and she flicked them off.

"So, you have any wet dreams?" Rae asked.

Ashley glared at her and wiped her eyes. "I'm not in the mood to answer you guy's dumbass questions," she said and yawned. Her two friends shut their mouths. If there was one thing they learned with Ashley, don't mess with her when she was cranky.

Ashley stretched a bit and yawned again before she said anything. "All right, I'm off. See you guys later," she said and gave her two friends' hugs before she went towards her car. She shoved her stuff into the backseat and then started her car. She smiled when 'With or Without You' filled the car. She remembered she had it on that morning. What could she say? That was a classic. She backed out of the parking space and began her short trip home. Within about ten minutes, she arrived to her mansion. She grabbed her backpack and slung it over her shoulder before venturing inside her house. She was met by a familiar face and smiled at her.

"Hey Brookie, how was she?" she asked her cousin as she closed the door.

"An angel like she always is," the twenty two year old brunette said, sipping her coffee as she looked through a fashion magazine.

Ashley smiled. "Where is the little punk?"

"Well, I told her to go play hide and go seek since you were coming home soon, like you use to do," she said, a small smile on her face.

Ashley couldn't help but smile big as she ventured up the stairs. "Ooohh, where's Tobey? I wonder where Tobey could be?" she said as she went into her room, putting her stuff down on her desk before looking around the room. "Hm, where is she?" she said. She heard a small giggle and went into the bathroom that was connected to her room. "Is she in here?" Ashley said in a playful voice. There was another giggle before the brunette pulled the shower curtain back, revealing a little girl that was a spitting image of Ashley. "There she is!"

"Momma!" the little girl yelled and wrapped her arms around Ashley.

Ashley grabbed her two year old little girl and picked her up. "Miss me?" she asked, leaning her forward against the little girl's.

"Yesh. This much," she said and spread her arms as far as she could.

Ashley smiled and gave her Eskimo kisses. "I missed you all the way up to the moon," she told her little girl.

October gasped, causing Ashley to laugh. "I miss you, that much and more," she said in her little girl voice, slurring some of the words since she was still learning.

"Touché," the older brunette smirked. She said that to the little girl almost every night.

Brooke came up behind them and gasped playfully. "Oh no, mommy found you?" October nodded. "Did you hide in the shower like I told you to?" she nodded again. "Oh man, we need to find a new hiding place for you," she said. October nodded and the two older brunettes laughed.

"Mm, as much as I want to hold you, I got stuff to do. So let me get my homework done, and then me and you can go to the park, okay baby girl?" she asked her. The little girl nodded and then Ashley put her down and she clumsily ran over to Brooke who had to help her downstairs.

Brooke moved in with the Davies' sister after Ashley had October since their parents were never home; she volunteered to help out and has been there since the day October was born. She was great help and the closest thing to a mother that either of the Davies' sisters had.

Ashley went over to her desk and opened her laptop, then got her homework out. She didn't have much do but she just wanted to get stuff done beforehand if possible so she could just have more time to spend with the people she loved.

She went to grab her Math textbook since she had a Chapter Review to do in it only to find that she had forgotten it in her locker. She groaned and grabbed her keys. She needed it so she had to go back to school.

She explained to Brooke why she had to leave and tried to explain to October why she couldn't go with her. She hated lying to her, but she just couldn't go through the whole school knowing she was a mom. She wasn't ashamed; she just wanted to finish high school.

Ashley got back to school a few minutes before the bell was going to ring. She went to her locker and spun the combination. She got her book and then slammed it. Before leaving the building, she remembered Spencer saying she was in Ms. Jones class. She could give her a visit just for the hell of it.

She walked to the class and knocked on the door before opening it. "Hello Ms. Jones, miss me?" _I swear to god, it looks like she's about to scream in fear. _Lucky for her teacher, the bell rang and she really didn't have any intention to stick around. Instead she just walked over to Spencer and smiled at her. "Hey, how was your day?"

"Memorable," she said simply with a smirk.

Ashley smiled slightly and walked next to Spencer. They walked out of the building, talking about a short summary of their day. "You need a ride home?"

"Yeah. Cheerleading practice was canceled but basketball is still on and my brother's on the team. He has the car, so if you don't mind, I'd love a ride," she said with a smile. Ashley nodded and led the blonde to her car.

"A Lamborghini? Wow, nice," she said, taking in the car. It was orange and Ashley just loved it.

"It's a 09," she said proudly.

The blonde smirked. "Cool," she said and got into the passenger seat after Ashley unlocked the car.

--

The ride to Spencer's house was filled with music. Ashley had changed the CD she had in before and put in a mix CD with newer stuff. Currently, 'Without You' by Hinder was softly vibrating through the speakers.

"You know I listened to the thirty second version of this on iTunes and thought it sucked. But now I actually like it," Spencer said as she listened intently to the lyrics.

"Maybe it's because you're in an awesome Lamborghini with a hot ass girl in it that makes the song amazing," Ashley said with a smirk.

Spencer laughed and then shrugged. "That could be it," Ashley's heart skipped a beat. "At least the car part," for no reason.

Ashley pulled into Spencer's driveway and looked over at the blonde. She looked back at her, her blue eyes looking into dark chocolate colored ones. "So I guess I'll see you tomorrow," Ashley was the one who said something first.

Spencer smiled and nodded at that. "Definitely, bye," she said and got out of the car.

Ashley waved and then began to pull out after Spencer was in her house. _I'm going to remember this place. _She stopped when something shiny got her attention. She saw a gold necklace on the passenger seat. She picked it up and saw it was Spencer's necklace. It was a heart locket. She turned her engine off and got out of the car, walking up the porch and knocked on the door. A few seconds later, the door was opened, but not by Spencer.

"Hello?" an older version of Spencer asked.

"Uh, is Spencer here?" she said, the woman looked taken aback.

"How does my daughter know you?" there was attitude in that.

It clicked in Ashley's mind of how she looked. A rebel with a lip ring, yeah, she didn't look like a mother's dream friend for their child. "School. I dropped her off-"

"Davies, what are you doing here?" Spencer asked and got in front of her mom, saving Ashley from feeling dumb trying to explain how she knows her daughter.

"Necklace, must've fallen off in the car," she said and held it out for her.

Spencer grabbed it and smiled at Ashley. "Thanks. The clip has been being stupid and it's been falling off everywhere.

"No problem. I got to go home though, so I'll just see you at school," Ashley said.

Before Spencer said anything back her, her mother replied for her. "Goodbye," then door was slammed shut.

_Yeah, definitely not a mother's dream friend for their child. Let alone girlfriend._

--

"Mom, what was up with that?" the younger blonde asked, pissed that her mom would do that.

"That girl looks like she does drugs and alcohol, do you really expect me to trust her with you?" her mom snapped right back.

Spencer grunted frustrated about it and then shook her head at her mom. "Whatever, ma. She's not like that, okay? She's real nice and way better then Madison."

"What? Madison is a nice girl," her mom said. "What makes Madison worse then this, Davies? What kind of name is that anyway?"

Spencer could've laughed at that, but she was too irritated to. "One, you don't know Madison other than me or Glen bringing her home, and when we do, she's two-faced about it. She's a bitch. And two, her name is Ashley, her last name is Davies," she said. Her mom was going to say something but she cut her off. "Look mom, save the fight for later, I just want to get my homework done and then rest. I'm tired," she said and then made her way upstairs.

_Great, my mom doesn't even like her to be my friend. I can tell this is going to be an interesting next few months._

--

**Author's Note:**

So, I think this is a long chapter too. I did it through 1 AM to 4AM, but decided to wait to post it. Sorry. Hahah.

**But you found stuff out and yes, Spencer's past is going to be brought up, along with Ashley's, you just gotta wait.**

**Uh, I think that's all I need say except that reviews are my energy so please if you read, review.**

**-Nikki**


	4. Bad Reputation

Lose Yourself

**Author's Note:**

**Yes, it's confusing how Ashley has a kid, and NO it is not Aiden's. I had to make that clear. But I have it all thought out about how she has a kid and nobody knows. In the first chapter, I mentioned that her brother and her father are always on tour, yeah, you got the idea from there, but they are going to make an appearance soon.**

**Thanks for all the reviews, I loved em.**

**--**

_**Chapter Four**_

_**Bad Reputation**_

The next day at school, Ashley stopped at her locker, throwing all of her text books in there. She was startled when Kyla poked her in the side and leaned against the other lockers.

"What do you want?" she asked, Kyla pouted.

"Why do you think every time I come over to you, I want something?"

"Because every time you come over to me, you want something," she said, not phased at all by her sister.

"Well, there is this one little favor I need," her sister asked, a little hope in her voice. Ashley gave her a look to continue. She hesitated for a second. "We need a replacement on the squad-"

"No, I'm not even going to listen," Ashley said, shutting her locker and started walking away from her sister.

"Ash," she whined. "Please, Spencer will be there," she saw that Ashley's stride had slowed down, seeing that she was interested, she continued to say stuff about the blonde. "And she'll be wearing a cheerleading uniform," she was slowing down more. "And it's only for a few games, and hopefully by then Helen will be back for competition."

Ashley halted and looked at her sister. _Spencer+ Cheerleading UniformHotter Beyond Belief. Do you really expect me to turn that down? _"Wait, I thought Spencer _was _the alternative."

"Oh, she was. Until Madison kicked Janice off the team, and then Helen broke her foot because Madison put her on top of the human pyramid even though she's probably the most unbalanced person in the world. Guess it'll teach her to leave Mads alone," Kyla said. If Ashley didn't know Madison's soft spots or how she operated, she would've been scared.

"Does Madison know that I'm going to be the replacement?"

"Actually, yes. You use to be one with her and you know all the basic cheers, you were one of the best cheerleaders then. She'll resort to you if she has to," Kyla said.

Ashley sighed and looked at her sister. "If I agree, no more whining about my Lamborghini or Porsche, do you hear me? No more," she said.

"Thank you, Ash," she smiled and kissed her sister on the cheek. Ashley shook her head and shoved her sister playfully away from her before she went on her way to find her two idiot best friends. She found them on the quad, battling none other than, Madison Duarte.

"Dude, Madison, please, just like back off, all right?" Rae asked. Ashley could see that they were struggling and she knew what Madison was doing, trying to push them to the point to come out. Ashley wasn't going to let that happen, she was going to have to make a scene. A group of people were already gathered around them.

"Aw, little gay girl feeling pressured-" Ashley shoved Madison as hard as she could when she got to her.

"Fuck off, Madison," she said.

"You did not," she said and then started to curse in Spanish, but nobody really knew what she saying. Then she pushed Ashley back, before Ashley took it any farther, she felt a hand on her shoulder. She tried to shove it off of her, but it gripped tight.

"She's not worth it, Ash," the voice whispered into her ear. Ashley stopped immediately, hearing her nickname pretty much breathed out of Spencer's mouth could've been the sexiest thing she's ever heard- and she's heard a lot of sexy things in her short lifetime.

The Latina smirked at what happened but Haley had enough of seeing her there. "Leave, Madison. And FYI they're just friends," she said, standing up from the bench that her and Rae were sitting on.

"Oh, so you're admitting that you and Rae are more then?" she said, grinning evilly. Haley's blood was basically boiling at this point. She heard stuff from Madison's mouth everyday about them and she was this close to admitting it, but she couldn't. Rae was still terrified of coming out, and she couldn't do that to the girl she loved without doing it together, so she had to deny it, even though it hurt.

"No, were just friends," she said as convincingly as she could at that moment.

"Haley and Rae sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Haley with a baby carriage," Madison and her evil minions sang basically in Haley's face. Before Haley even got to the punch, Ashley stepped in front of her.

"Fucking stop, Madison. We were all your best friends 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, and 10th grade. Now your being a bitch to us because what? We chose to like girls? Really, what is so bad about it? When did you give a fuck?" Ashley yelled. Madison smirked and Ashley closed her eyes, she said 'we'.

"We?"

"Yes, we. I'm in love with Haley Dennison. Get the fuck over it," Rae said and grabbed Haley, not hesitating to kiss her right in front of everybody. Ashley and Spencer smiled and looked at Madison, whose jaw dropped to the ground. The bell rang and the two girls stopped kissing, but both had a smile on their face afterwards.

"See you at practice, Mads," Ashley said and grabbed her two friends, who were now holding hands. She was glad that they finally came out, but felt a little bad that it was her who pretty much did it for them. Plus, now they were going to be kissing everywhere. _Eww._

"What do you mean, see you at practice?" Haley asked.

"Kyla might've convinced me to fill in for the squad for a few games," she said sheepishly. Spencer laughed.

"She told me she was going to try, I didn't know she'd actually convince you," the blonde said, still laughing.

"You're going to be a cheer bitch? Isn't this against our code?" Haley asked, Rae just laughed.

"What code?" the brunette asked.

"The code, you know?"

"No, I don't know."

"Oh, well we should make a code saying we can't be a cheer bitch."

"Hey, I'm a cheer bitch!" Spencer said with a pout.

"And I'm a replacement cheer bitch," the brunette said with an identical pout to Spencer's.

"I figured out how she convinced you!" Rae said randomly, causing the three to look at her. She was grinning ear to ear.

"How?" the other two asked in unison.

"She said that you'd be in uniform, duh," Rae said, like it was the obvious thing in the world; which in a way, it was.

Ashley shrugged. "I'd do a lot for that."

"How about, I don't know, go to a game?"

"But I won't be near you. I'll be next to your sweating half naked body. It's almost like sex if we do the human pyramid and I'm holding your ass."

"That's a guys' job."

"In which way, for cheerleading or life?"

Spencer hesitated for a minute. "Cheerleading," she said and then went to her portable, which of course, was different from the other three.

"I think we found a winner," Haley said with a smirk.

Ashley stayed quiet for a little, just smiling as she looked at where Spencer was. It was scary that she had only known the girl two days and she already had this effect on her.

"Earth to Ashley, we need to get to class," Rae said and snapped her fingers in front of her. After they regained Ashley's attention, they went into their portable and took their usual seats next to each other. Of course, Aiden has to sit next Ashley since his stupid ass has this class, too.

"Hey Rae, Hales, Ash," he said and set his messenger bag on his desk. He saw across from his sister, who grew an irritated look because he, like Kyla, always wanted something we he bothered them.

"What do you want?" all three of them asked.

"Did you guys really kiss in front of the whole school because it's bad enough I dated a dyke, but now the school knows my sister is one, too? My rep is going to fly down and there's going to be rumors that I'm gay," Aiden said. Ashley turned so she faced him and kicked his chair over hard so he fell pretty much flat on his face onto the floor. The other two girls laughed.

"Lesson number one, never, ever, ever say that in front of the person you dated that is now a, quote unquote 'dyke'. And plus, dude, that was like 7th or 8th grade. Everybody's forgotten that," she said to him. He got up; the whole class was shocked at first and then laughed. He grew a bright red and picked his chair up and sat back down and pretty much hid his face behind his messenger bag.

"And dude, the whole school would think you were gay if you did half of things you do at home, here. Because they're pretty gay," Haley added. The three laughed and he rolled his eyes, grabbing his back pack and moving to a different seat.

Just then, the teacher walked in and the boring stuff began.

--

Ashley almost flew out of the classroom, hoping to catch Spencer before she went to second period. She successfully did.

"Hey," the blonde said with a smile. Ashley smiled back and was about to say something before Spencer said something. "You think it's worth it yet?"

Ashley gave her an odd look. "Worth, what, huh?" Spencer laughed.

"Skipping?"

"Oh, yeah, that sounds good. She can go without a peer today," she smiled; glad that she would have Spencer pretty much to herself.

"Where?"

"Starbucks?"

"Sounds like a plan."

--

"Wow, I don't think I've ever heard this song when it wasn't in a movie," Spencer said. They were listening to a mixed CD of Ashley's and 'Bad Reputation' by Joan Jett and The Blackhearts.

Ashley laughed and shrugged. "My freshmen year I thought I was total bad ass and that's when I made this CD. But you can never forget the classics, right?" she said with a soft smile. Spencer nodded.

"Mind if I see what else you listened to in your freshmen year?"

"Don't be astonished if an N'Sync song pops up. Or Backstreet Boys," she said. Spencer raised an eyebrow before laughing.

She changed to the next song which was none other than 'I Need You Tonight' by Backstreet Boys came on. Spencer laughed a bit. "I use to like this song," she smirked.

"It's cute you have to admit," the brunette said.

"Does Ashley Davies have a soft spot for corny boy bands?" Spencer asked, but Ashley smiled, hearing her full name from Spencer made her heart rate go faster.

"Open up your heart to me. And say what's on your mind, oh yes. I know that we have been through so much pain. But I still need you in my lifeless time. And I need you tonight, I need you right now. I know it's in my heart, it doesn't matter if it's wrong or right, I really need you tonight," Ashley sang, a smile on her face.

Spencer was taken aback at how the older girl's voice sounded. The radio wasn't up to loud, so she heard it clearly. She was amazing. "I would put that on my Myspace if it was you singing it."

"That's why I still like some of the songs. If Ne-Yo sang it, everybody would love it because it Ne-Yo. Sometimes you have to listen to the song," she said, but they both started laughing at it.

They arrived at Starbucks and got out of the car. "What do you want to drink?" she asked, taking a wallet out of her back pocket and taking a ten out.

"Oh no, no, no, I can pay for myself," the blonde said and subconsciously grabbed for her purse that she didn't have.

"Mhm, I'll just leave you here to clean the dishes then," Ashley smirked and Spencer laughed.

"Yeah, I don't bring my purse to school, but I bring it everywhere else," she said, she laughed softly again. "I'll pay you back."

"No need. It's my treat. I'm Raiffe Davies' daughter. I have more than enough cash," she said. "Now tell me what you want."

"Vanilla Frappuccino," she said.

"One Mocha, one Vanilla Frappuccino please, both grande," Ashley said and gave them the ten bucks. She got her change back and put it in her wallet before she slipped it back into her back pocket. A few minutes later they had their drinks and sat down in the corner of Starbucks.

"So, when you planning on coming out?" Ashley asked, catching the blonde off guard.

"Is never an option?" she asked, Ashley smirked a bit and then shook her head.

"Why'd you tell me and my friends? You could've lied, you know?"

"Yeah, but you had to be catching on. I was flirting with you," she said. Ashley shrugged.

"I thought you were straight," she said. Spencer shrugged also.

"Mine as well just tell others who have been in my position. I mean, I really, why wouldn't I tell you guys? Especially with Haley and Rae coming out today, I don't know," she admitted.

"Maybe you thought we needed another closet gay kid," she said trying to lighten the mood.

Spencer smirked. "Maybe."

Ashley took a sip of her drink and then put it down as she looked into Spencer's eyes.

"So, I'd bet my whole fortune to say that your mom sure as hell doesn't know," the brunette said.

"Ha, I'm probably telling her last," she said, shuddering at even the thought of telling her mother.

"Hardcore Catholic?"

"Yeah, almost kicked my brother out when she walked in on him having sex in his freshmen year. It was his first time. I'm surprised he's actually had the guts to have sex after that. That week was hell for him. Amusing for me," she said with a slight smirk.

"You're one of those evil little sisters, aren't you? Like Kyla," she said. Spencer laughed and shook her head.

"Only when he's evil to me."

Ashley smirked, watching Spencer take a sip of her drink. "So, Carlin, do you flirt with other girls, or is it just me?"

"Oh, I have a whole list of other girls I have to attend to today. I bet that one in second period is missing me, oh well, she'll see me later," Spencer said teasingly.

"Pfft, and here I think I'm special," she smirked.

"Can I ask you questions?"

"Plural?"

"Yes, plural. You can pass if it's too deep, but I want to be straight forward," the blonde said. She wanted to know the real Ashley Davies; not the one she hears in rumors.

"Only if I can ask you a question back," the brunette said and took a sip of her drink.

"Deal," she said and tried to figure out how to word her question. "How many girls have you slept with?"

Ashley almost choked on her drink when Spencer asked that, but saved herself just in time to just swallow it. "Um, wow. Is too many an answer?" she asked. She didn't know if the blonde was disappointed or not, her face was still the same.

"You don't know the number?"

"I had a phase, and that's two questions."

"You answered my question with a question so in a way that's not an answer."

Ashley thought about it and then shrugged. "Fine, my turn. When did you find out you were gay?"

"Beginning of my sophomore year," she said. Ashley waited for her to continue but she didn't. "You asked when, not what happened."

"Smart ass," she said under her breath. "Fine, ask yours."

"Have you ever been in love?"

Ashley paused, taking a sip of her drink to stall the answer. "No," she said after about a minute. "I've loved, but I've never been _in _love," she admitted. Spencer nodded, not saying anything and waited for Ashley's question. "What happened in your sophomore year to make you like girls?"

"In the locker room, there was this one girl. She was really pretty, beautiful really, and I sorta thought she was cute in a more than, I guess you'd call it, 'straight' way. I got a look at her while she was changing and she had an amazing body, breath-taking really. I didn't admit to myself that I liked girls right then and there, but I know that's how it started," she said. Ashley saw that she had stopped and frowned how Spencer kept stopping in a middle of a story. She would have to use another question to keep it going. "Okay, this is personal, but I heard a rumor that you were suicidal your freshmen year, why?" she asked.

Ashley hesitated big time looking down at the table. She hated that word, nobody used it around her after what happened to Carmen, but this girl didn't know, so she couldn't be mad at her for it. But could she tell her why? "It's stupid," she said softly.

"Ashley, it can't be stupid if you were thinking about ending your life over it," her voice was no louder than a whisper and her hand went over Ashley's. The brunette's eyes looked up into Spencer's.

"My parents were hardly ever home, Brett was always out with his new girl toy, and Kyla had friends to worry about. Yeah, so did I, but I wanted my family way more than my friends. My parents had already split, but sometimes, we'd have family dinners all of us. My mom would even come. And it was nice, like we were a family for one night, but of course, my parents would start fighting and me and Brett would break it up, but it was nice while it lasted, you know?" she said, pausing for a second and looked back down at the table. "I did it for attention. I pretended that I let it slip while I was hanging out with Brett and Ky and they immediately told our parents. My dad stayed home for two weeks, the longest he's ever been home and my mom even cared enough to cancel some vacations and talk to me about it," she said, her voice was getting softer by the second. "I ended up telling my brother why I did it after our parents just went on with their lives. He spent a lot of time with me after that and so did Kyla, and that's when I noticed was all I needed was them, but it was nice to have a mom and dad every once in awhile," she looked up into Spencer's eyes, and they were filled with nothing but sympathy.

"I'm so sorry. Nobody should have to resort to that for their parent's attention," the blonde said and gave Ashley a reassuring squeeze. She just shrugged, not trusting her voice right then and there. "If you want, you can ask me a deep question now."

She cleared her throat, smirking a little. "But I don't know any rumors about you, it's just not the same," she said. Spencer smiled, glad that she bounced back. "Go ahead and ask me more questions, but after you're done, you tell me about that locker room chick, deal?"

Spencer nodded and then thought a little longer. "Okay, since you had that 'phase', do you have any STD's?"

"Nope, clean," she nodded.

"Another deep one, you don't have to answer it, but you and Kayla what happened?"

"Jeez, interested in my love life, hmm? You like me, don't you?" she said with a cocky smirk, more to avoid the question than anything.

"I'm asking the questions now," Spencer said with a small smirk of her own.

Ashley sighed and slurped a big sip of her drink. "If I answer this question truthfully, you may hate me and the chance of you liking me, will be crushed," she warned.

"If that's your way of trying to make me not want to know, it's not working."

Ashley sighed and slipped her hand away from Spencer's since the blonde's was still on top of hers. "Me and Kayla met in like 6th grade. It was me, Kay, Rae, Hales, and Mads; we were the girls everybody wanted to date. Five completely different people, too. Madison couldn't listen to country while Kayla would make fun of rap songs, but we all loved each other. But when me and Kay came out, Madison left the group. Not really thinking we were disgusting, but because of her reputation, she wouldn't have one if she was seen with us. Of course, since we were gay best friends, we were suppose to get together, but it didn't happen like that. We didn't get together until this year," she said, and paused. "My last girlfriend before Kayla committed suicide. Kayla helped me through it and I was vulnerable. She didn't take advantage me, hell, I kissed her, but our feelings weren't the same. I found out mid into our relationship that she had feeling for me for awhile and I, well I was a hollow bitch who basically just stayed with her because I couldn't bring myself to hurt my best friend," she didn't want to look at Spencer at this point, so she stared at her drink as she continued. "I was... I had been drinking one night. I wasn't drunk, but I wasn't sober either. It was late, midnight-ish, and I went over to her house. I was a little horny so as soon as she opened the door, I started kissing her and one thing led to another," she hesitated before the next part. "Thing was, she was virgin," she whispered, with the slightest hope that Spencer might've not heard her. "I knew that, too. But I did it anyway. A week later, I broke up with her. I was, of course, drinking again and I told her exactly how it was. We haven't spoken until she sent that Myspace message the other day. I thought she hated me, but she invited me to go to a Nickelback concert with her. I'd really love nothing more than to become friends with her again because she really is an amazing person, I just never loved her like she did me," she said and continued to stare at her drink, scared to look up and see Spencer's reaction to her story.

"You regret it?" she asked.

"Every day, I wish I just would've told her the truth to start with," the brunette said and looked at Spencer. Her face was unreadable, and it scared Ashley a little.

"Is that you, though? I'm not stupid, I know you like me. Half because Rae told me and half because I have common sense. And maybe I like you, but I don't know you and that story isn't the most convincing one. How do I know that won't be me?" the blonde asked, looking straight into Ashley's eyes.

Ashley broke the eye contact and looked down at the table. "You don't. And you never will unless we try," she said and slowly led her gaze up to Spencer's. "But the thing is with Kayla, I never liked her, liked her, she was always just my best friend," she said, not knowing if it was convincing or not.

Spencer paused. "Do you like me, like me?" the brunette slowly nodded.

"Yeah, I do. I know it's been, like two days, less then that really, but you're… different," she said, a smile playing on her lips. "You're the only one I can't figure out and keeps surprising me by flirting back and not blushing or stuttering words," she admitted.

Spencer stayed quiet and then looked at the clock behind Ashley. "We need to get back, I have a test in History class and I can't miss it," she said and mutely got up and started walking out of Starbucks.

Ashley sighed and let her head fall for a second before she followed suit behind Spencer. She finished her drink and threw it away right before she left through the doors. She was about to unlock her car before somebody called her name, and it wasn't Spencer.

"Ashley, oh wow. I haven't seen you for like a month, that was a great night," a red head said, making Ashley raise her eyebrow.

"Who the hell are you?" she asked, unlocking her car so Spencer could get in. _I totally saw that pissed off look she just had, shit. _

"Um, don't you remember me? A month ago, Gray?" she asked. Ashley bit the inside of her lip and tried to remember this girl but it wasn't working. It didn't ring a bell.

"Christina? You told me you loved me," she said and got closer to Ashley, wrapping her arms around Ashley's waist and inching her closer to her. She went right for Ashley's ear lobe and that was definitely her soft spot.

She almost gave into the girl but instead pushed her away. "I must've been drunk because I don't remember you. Plus, never believe a person in a one night stand who tell you they love you, are you crazy?" she said and then got into the car, sort of scared to look at Spencer.

She started the car, leaving the baffled red head on the sidewalk. She began the drive back to school, '21 Questions' by 50 Cent playing. Neither of them bothered to mess with the radio.

"That's long behind me."

"A month ago isn't long," Spencer said, maybe with a little attitude, but Ashley couldn't really tell.

"I party every once in awhile, I usually don't do that, but I let it slip," she said softly.

"Let it slip?" the blonde scoffed and looked out the window. _Dude, did she really like me that much? Fuck, I blew it._

"I know it sounds like I don't care, the way I phrase it and everything, but I do. I'm ashamed that I don't know how many people I've slept with. I hate it, really. When I went through the phase, when I'd wake up with hangovers and nobody's there, I'd always wonder if anything happened the night before. And then it's worse when I woke up with a girl next to me with no knowledge what so over of the girl," she said, glancing over at Spencer. "I've changed since then, a lot. That was my sophomore and junior year and I wish I could forget it, but I can't."

Spencer just continued to stare out the window for a few minutes, listening to Ashley and thinking about her words. "How do I know you've changed?"

Ashley stayed quiet, pulling into the school parking lot; she stopped the car and looked at Spencer. The blonde was about to get out of the car until Ashley grabbed her by her arm. "Because I'm a mother," she said in the softest voice she could use.

--

**Author's Note:**

Cliffhangers, don't they suck. Hah, sorry but I couldn't help but end it on that note

**Spencer's past is coming, but now you know a little about Ashley's. She is going to explain the whole pregnant and how she gets away without anybody knowing and stuff in the next chapter.**

**Well, please review and I'll try to update quick.**

**-Nikki**


	5. Moving Mountains

Lose Yourself

**Author's Note:**

**Thanks for all the reviews. The one that made me crack up was 'u.love.me', you seemed pretty surprised. **

**  
Anyways, here's the next chapter.**

**--**

_**Chapter Five**_

_**Moving Mountains**_

Spencer froze when she heard those words. _Ashley has a kid? Isn't she gay? How do I not know about this? How does Madison not know about this? What am I suppose to say to that? _She cleared her throat, but words still couldn't form for about another minute until she came up with her simple reply. "How?"

"Well, I heard that it's when a mommy and a daddy get together and-"

"Not what I meant," she said, giving the smirking brunette a small glare, but she knew what she was doing. Trying to die the tension down.

"All right, if you must know the story, it starts in the near end of my freshmen year. I had a boyfriend, Dave, he was a great guy. Sweet, nice, cute, the safety of the JV football team. I had been dating him since the middle of our 8th grade year, so of course, we think that's a lifetime so we decide to make things… serious, I guess is the word," she paused and glanced over at Spencer and then looked down at her hands. "We were at his house; his parents were away on a business trip, so I guess you could say that's a perfect way to do it. We were making out on his bed, and before I knew it, clothes were being thrown to the floor. We were both virgins, so we really didn't know what to do, so we just kind of did whatever I guess. He had a condom but I guess it didn't work out the way we wanted it too," she looked up from her hands to look at Spencer. "The first week of summer, I found out I was 3 weeks pregnant. Kyla and Haley were the ones to get me the test, and Brett was the one to call dad. He lectured me and then asked me two questions. The first was if I wanted to keep it, and I told him right then and there that I did. The second was if I wanted to go to high school pregnant. That I didn't. So he set up an appointment with the principal and thankfully he liked me, so I got to go on tour with my dad while I was pregnant and I did my school work online. The only thing I had to do was take all my test when I got back to finish up my sophomore year," she smiled a bit. "Spending the time with my dad was amazing. He was right there when she first kicked and with the first sonogram, it was amazing. But complications happened. For some reason, I went into labor in my seventh month and they couldn't stop it so I had a premature baby. She was in an incubator and watched carefully for a month before they let me take her home. They told me I was lucky because she only has a little asthma. It took me that whole month to name her, too. But in the end, I went with what my first choice was, October," she said and looked at Spencer, waiting for her to say something.

"What about the father?" she asked, noticing that he wasn't mentioned at all.

"Oh, a month after we did the tango, he moved," she said like it was nothing, but it hurt like hell when it actually happened.

"Wow, he's a bitch."

"Yeah, but I get her all to myself and she has my last name, so in the end, it works," she smiled a bit, Spencer smiled back.

"Wait, so she's like three?"

"Two, almost three."

"Your phase was in your sophomore and junior year," she said and Ashley looked down at her hands again.

"I wasn't exactly mother of the year," she said softly. "She was my world, she _is _my world, but about a month after I had her, I wanted to be a normal teenager again. So I started partying and drinking. Brooke, my cousin, she moved in with me right after I had Tobey and she's great help, especially with Brett and dad gone. But she told me that it was normal for a teenager to want to go out and she went through it, too. She told me she wanted me to get out of my system, so she let me. I went every other day to a party," she paused and Spencer could tell she was holding back tears. "One day, Brooke asked me, real nicely too, to watch October because her friend was in L.A and she wanted to hang out with her because they hadn't seen each other in awhile, it was the same day of this big party that everybody was going to. I basically screamed at her no and told her to fuck off. That night I couldn't sleep, because I went to the party anyway, but I felt bad the whole time because she had to take October with her to see her friend. To make it better, Kyla told me that I needed to stop because Tobey was calling Brooke mom and didn't even know who I was. And that if I didn't start being a mother to her now, she won't forgive me when she's older," her voice got stuck in her throat for a few seconds and she cleared her throat so she could continue. "I didn't go to school the next week because I stayed at home, attached to October. It took her awhile to warm up to me, but she did and I only party like once a month now and I make sure that Brooke doesn't have anything to do because if she has plans one night and so do I, I drop mine and let her go, because she deserves it. She spent almost two years dropping shit so she could take care of October when I should've been the one doing it," she stopped and looked at Spencer. "I regret so many things I've done, but I'm trying to make up for that now, trying to be a better person."

Spencer nodded at her and put her hand over Ashley's. "I know what you mean," she said in a soft whisper and then sighed. "Back in Ohio, I was… I was different then I am now," she looked into Ashley's eyes. "I was basically Madison in 8th grade. I knew everything about everyone and if you pissed me off, I wouldn't hesitate to spread a rumor. I did it to my friends constantly and denied that it was me that spread it, but they knew it was me. My freshmen year, I was worse. I partied and drank, which wasn't a good thing at all because I can't hold down liquor and I've done really stupid things when I drink. I blurted out that my best friend had lost her virginity and called her a slut at the biggest party. I had known that girl since I was three years old and she couldn't even look at my after that because her brother was at that party and told her parents," she sighed and looked down. "My sophomore year, I changed a little. Mostly because I didn't have very many friends and because most people hated me. Then I just dropped everybody and stopped talking because I felt like shit after everything I had done. Then the locker room girl, Jade, she changed me to a way better person. After the first time I saw her, I saw that she was in my child development class, too. I sat next to her and we hit off. I told everything and how I felt about it, and she told me that people will come around if you give it time. I found out she was bi, and I found myself liking her, a lot. But with my luck, she was a senior. Though against her best efforts, we ended up getting together and she kept changing me to a better person. I didn't blackmail people and I became very laid back. Who I am now, and I love her death for it, but I never let myself fall in love with her. She was my first everything though, except love," she said and looked back up at Ashley. "So I was a bit hypocritical about you being the way you were, but I know for a fact that it's easy to bounce back that way, you know?" she said.

Ashley just nodded; shocked to hear that sweet Spencer was that person. "I would've never pinned you as a former Madison."

"Looks can be deceiving," the blonde said simply.

Ashley nodded and sighed, hearing the bell telling them to go to fourth period. "We probably should go to some classes," the brunette said.

"Yeah, we probably should. But I'll see you fifth period, lets say library?" Spencer said.

Ashley smiled at Spencer and nodded. "The library."

"See you, brownie."

"Bye, blondie."

--

"Okay, where were you third period?" Haley said as soon as Ashley got into her seat for Economics class.

"Starbucks," she said simply.

"With Spencer?"

"Maybe," the brunette smirked.

"Dish."

"Can't, the conversation is personal," Ashley said, a smirk on her face. Haley was about to say something but Ms. Garrison started talking before she got a word out. Ashley almost laughed at the glare that her friend was giving her, but instead took notes.

Her mind, of course, was on Spencer. She was glad that Spencer had finally told her about her life, at least a little insight. It truly astonished the brown-eyed girl that Spencer was ever that way; she honestly looked way to innocent to be like that. _I guess that's why they say 'Beware of the new girl'. _

The one thing the brunette was trying to figure out was, is she happy that Spencer knows about Tobey? Knowing that the girl had a past for telling secrets doesn't really make Ashley feel all that great about admitting that now. They hadn't known each other long at all, and Ashley is known for pissing people off. _I refuse to believe that she would do that to me. _

"Please, tell," Haley begged when the teacher was down talking and let the class talk.

Ashley sighed and leaned in close so nobody else could hear. "I told her, basically about everything."

"And by everything you mean?"

"Everything," the brunette told her friend.

"Wait, wait, _everything._ Like, every single little thing?" Haley asked, trying to see if she meant Tobey or not.

"Okay, not every detail of my life, but the important ones."

"The one at home?" Ashley just nodded. Haley eyes got wide. "What the hell, Ash? How do you know you can trust this chick?"

Ashley sighed and tapped her fingers against her desk. "I really don't I guess, but I took the chance. I mean I really like this girl, oh, and by the way, remind me to kill you girlfriend the next time I see her. And she likes me, or she said that she might like me. I really want to be with her, so I thought I should start it honestly," she said.

"Why do you want to kill Rae?"

"Because she told Spencer I liked her."

"Anything with eyes could see that you like her," Haley said and then shrugged. "Whatever, but still," she sighed. "If you think you can trust her, then fine, but if-"

"I know, Hales, I know," she said and leaned back in her seat. "She told me stuff about her, too. It was nice towards the end but I think she was on the bridge of hating me when I told her about Kayla."

"You told her what you did to Kayla?!" Haley asked in disbelief.

"Well, we were playing the questions games and she asked…" Ashley basically muttered.

"That's something you would say to convince people you don't want dating you," she said. "That's like tossing a relationship out the window. _I _hated you as much as a best friend could after that. I was pissed."

"Yeah, so was she. I thought I blew it really, but come on, it's better to be honest now then to like fall in love with her and then tell her that story, you know?" Ashley told her friend.

"Yeah, I guess," she said and then shrugged. "It's all up to you with this, but fill me in, you hear? I hate it when you leave me in the dust with your relationships."

"Always," she smiled.

--

Ashley waited in the library, smiling at the message she had from Kayla. She really wanted to talk to her in person, catch up, tell her how sorry she was and how she wanted to be friends again, and the Nickelback concert was a great start. They both loved the band so it was good.

**Yay, ha. I'm glad you're agreeing. I really miss you, in a friend way, of course.**

**  
The concert's this Friday and is at the park that we all used to hang out with; it's sorta a private one I guess. We can all carpool together, if you want. That's what I'm doing with my friends and we have extra room.**

**Have you decided who you wanted to take? I think you should take that hottie I see you flirt with ; I talked to her and she's real nice and you guy's would be cute together so you have my approval with her. Lol.**

**Get back to me soon so I know what were doing.**

**-Kay**

Ashley quickly hit reply and began typing back.

**Don't worry, I miss you , too, in a friendly way also. Ha.**

**Okay, I think I can make it and I'll think about carpooling, but I may not get to leave on time, with Tobey and all. But I'll have to see**

**Wow, you talked to her? Oh right, you have a class together, she told me. Right. Anyways, thanks. I sorta do like her so I'll have to see, but I don't want it to be weird, ya know? I want to like repair us, I guess, and I don't know if that's the best idea. But thanks for your approval, haha.**

**Um, I want to hang out, just me and you, before the concert so we can catch up and stuff. Thursday? Get back to me.**

**-Ash**

Spencer walked in a few seconds after Ashley sent the message and took the seat next to Ashley. "Are you still the like replacement cheerleader?"

"As far as I know, yes, why?" she asked, looking over at Spencer.

"Well, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out after school, at my place. My mom's not going to be home, but my dad will, he's a lot more understanding then my mom," she said with a small smirk.

"Uh, I have to call Brooke to see if it's cool, but yeah, I'd like too," she said with a smile.

Spencer sighed. "Look, I want to get this out there now, I don't want a relationship with you until I know you better and that I'm sure that I like you. I hate those couples who know like a few things about each other, and everything else breaks lose in the relationship, you know?" she bit her lip, waiting for Ashley's answer.

"Yeah, I getcha. I'd like to get to know you better, anyway. I don't mind that," she smiled, and Spencer smiled back, happy that Ashley understood. "Plus, Tobey has to like you before we go out," the brunette said playfully.

Spencer laughed softly. "I'd love to meet her, but not today."

"No, trust me, the house is a mess anyway and I have to make sure Brooke's cool with it, too," she said.

Spencer nodded and tapped her foot nervously. "So, what now?"

"We could just leave. Skip the rest of the day and come back for practice," Ashley suggested.

"Nobody's home now, my dad doesn't get home until after I get home from practice so if you want to come over and watch a movie or something," she offered.

"Yeah, lets do it," Ashley said and they both got up and left the library.

--

"We should make rules for each other," Ashley said randomly as they were at a red light on their way to Spencer's abode.

"What?"

"Me and Haley sorta liked each other last year, but we were best friends and we weren't sure if we liked each other for real or not, so we made up these rules of things we couldn't do until we were sure. Like, no kissing the lips, and no dating anybody else until were sure. Stuff like that," she said with a small smirk.

"I like both of those rules, so we'll have those," the blonde smirked.

"I'll say one and then you think of one, okay?" the blonde nodded. "No parties unless we're both there."

"No sex."

Ashley pouted. "Not cool, Carlin," she smirked. "Teasing is okay."

"We can't do anything more than friendly in public."

"Oh darn, and here I was thinking I could feel you up in the middle of the quad," she said jokingly. The blonde laughed. "Um, okay, if one of us asks a question to the other, we have to answer it one hundred percent truthfully, no lying. And there's no passes."

"I like that one," she thought about hers. "No lying, period."

"Hm, I'm done," she smirked.

"Same here," the blonde nodded.

"You think we're going to keep em?"

"At least for a little while," she smirked.

"But rules are meant for breaking, you know," the brunette said. Spencer laughed.

"Maybe later we will, but not anytime soon," she smirked.

--

They arrived at the house and Spencer let Ashley pick out the movie, though she regretted it when Ashley chose 'Jeepers Creepers'.

"That's Glen's movie and I've never seen it, I refuse to watch," she said, pouting at Ashley.

"Aw, are you scared?" the blonde nodded. "What if I protected you?"

"That's what Glen use to say. But one summer when our uncle played a joke on us and freaked us out, Glen left my ass in the dust," the blonde frowned at the memory. "Now, I don't trust anybody with protecting me.

Ashley started laughing and then composed herself after Spencer threw a glare at her. She then put on a seductive smirk and walked over to Spencer who was sitting on the couch. "I promise I'll protect you," she said in a soft voice and straddled the blonde. "I'll make sure the green, flying thing doesn't eat your head."

Spencer could only gulp. She had a hot girl straddling her, what else do you expect her to do. _Hell, if she stays this close for the whole movie, how can I refuse? _"I get to pick the movie after practice," she compromised.

Ashley just smirked and got off of Spencer to get the remote for the DVD player. She fast forward the previews and then hit play, taking a seat right next to Spencer and wrapping her arms around her protectively. "I won't let anything touch you, I promise," she whispered into Spencer's ear.

_And the girl turns her charm on __**after **__I tell her that I want to get to know her more. That damn teasing rule, I'm going to hate it. _"Okay," was the only thing the blonde could think to say at that moment. It felt so nice to have Ashley's arm around her and for her to be so close, she honestly felt protected.

--

Spencer screamed, digging her face into Ashley's neck when the officer got a hole through him. Ashley, of course, stifled her laugh but none the less, Spencer punched her in the stomach. "I wasn't laughing!" she said defensively.

Spencer took her head away from the brunette's neck and looked at her. "I heard you!" she said and moved away from Ashley's reach, crossing her arms. "You're a meanie…" she mumbled.

Ashley just smiled at Spencer and looked back at the TV, knowing in a few minutes that Spencer would be right next to her again.

That came true quickly and Spencer clung onto the brunette like she was her lifeline. "I hate you for making watch this movie," Spencer said and rested her head onto Ashley's shoulder as her eyes stayed glued to the TV.

Ashley just smirked and wrapped her arms tightly around the blonde. "I haven't broken my promise, though," she whispered into the blonde's ear, sending chills up Spencer's spine the way Ashley's breathed it out.

"Yeah, but you're mean…" she said softly and shut her eyes close when a gross part came up. _Wait a second, two can play at this game. If Ashley can tease me and then laugh at me through this whole movie, which by the way is going to give me nightmares for the next week, I can get her back. _Spencer opened her eyes and turned her head into Ashley's neck and lightly started kissing it.

Ashley froze up at the contact; the kisses were so light that Ashley couldn't even tell if she was actually kissing her neck. The kisses began getting pressed harder, mainly around her pulse point and then trailed up to her ear. She felt Spencer's tug at her ear and couldn't help but let out a light moan.

Spencer smiled when she heard the moan and straddled the girl, continuing the kisses back down to her pulse point. She lightly licked that spot and sucked onto it, hearing the moans come out of the brunette's mouth. She didn't stop until there was a small little hickie there and then looked up at the clock. She got off of Ashley and started heading towards the door. "Time for practice," she said simply and walked out the door.

Ashley stayed where she was, thinking about what had just happened.

_She has no idea how wet she just made me._

_--_

**Author's Note:**

**Yep. So there you go. The anticipated how Ashley has a secret kid and a little into Spencer's background. A lot of memories of Spencer's past with come up with her and Ashley so no worries.**

**I want to have Ashley write songs and stuff, and I just want to put a disclaimer that I don't own it now because I will forget, lol.**

**All right, I'd love reviews. **

**-Nikki**


	6. Untouched

Lose Yourself

**Author's Note:**

**Ha, love the reviews, they made me laugh.**

**Okay, so I know some characters haven't been introduce. Arthur, Glen, Clay, and Chelsea, so they'll appear soon. I've been saying that for awhile, I know, but this fic is just sorta the girls, you know? But after they get to really know each other and get together, the other characters are going to be bigger.**

**All right, well enjoy.**

**--**

_**Chapter Six**_

_**Untouched**_

"No, Ashley, that's not the form you have to use. Your arms have to be like this," Madison did something that seemed foreign to Ashley and the older girl just raised her eyebrow at her. "Ugh. I can't work with her. Kyla, control your sister," the Latina stomped off to grab her water bottle and sit on the bleachers to take a break from yelling at the older brunette.

"Ash, can you please try?" Kyla whined.

"I am, Ky. But Madison is doing it too fast. It's been like three years since I've been on the squad. I just know how to do flips and that's because those are fun," she defended herself, sneaking a few glances at a particular smirking blonde. She looked back at Kyla and folded her arms. "This is the only cheer I'm not like really getting, so can't I just like fake a pulled hamstring every time we have to do this one. I'm a good actress."

Kyla couldn't help but laugh at her sister. "God, you are hopeless. Look, I'll just help you at home. The next game is in two weeks since we have Friday off for teacher planning day, so were saved."

"We have Friday off? How do I not know that?" Ashley asked no one in particular though and walked with her sister to get a bottle of water. They sat on the bleachers and watched Madison show Spencer some new cheers.

"Don't drool," Kyla teased her sister.

Ashley looked at Kyla and playfully shoved her shoulder into her sister's. "Shut it."

"You really like her, don't you?" Kyla asked, seriously.

Ashley looked back at the blonde, watching one of the guy cheerleader's, Romeo, hold her in the air. "Yeah, I do. She's so different than other girls," she looked back at Kyla. "I told her about Tobey, that's how serious I am about her."

Kyla looked at her sister in shock. "Then what's holding you back?"

"We're taking it slow, Ky, so nothing. Though, I want to take her out, not exactly on a date, but just out. So if you're up for something like Saturday, we should all go," she said. Her sister nodded and then Madison dragged them back to start doing a cheer all over again.

--

Ashley closed her phone and turned to look at Spencer with a smile. "It's cool, I can hang with you," she said and took her seatbelt off, getting out of her car. Spencer imitated it and led the brunette back into the house. "So, what movie are you going to pick, missy?" Ashley asked, sitting down on the couch and stretching her body onto it. She propped her head onto her hand and watched the blonde go through her stack of DVDs.

"Hmm, I'm thinking… 'Never Been Kissed'," She said, and grabbed that DVD.

Ashley's face fell. "I've never seen that movie, wasn't so much on planning to, either," she said, causing the blonde to smirk.

"Hey, I wasn't planning on seeing 'Jeepers Creepers' but you kept insisting-"

"I know, I know," she sighed. "Slap it in, blondie."

Spencer smiled at her, tilting her head to the side. "As you wish, brownie," she said and turned to the DVD player. Ashley was smiling like an idiot after she said that, loving how they were with each other, even after sharing some of their secrets. "Want popcorn?" the brunette nodded. "Soda?" she nodded again. "Coke?"

"Yep," she said, and grabbed the DVD remote that was on the nightstand getting ready to get the movie started.

"All right, give me a minute," the blonde said and disappeared into the kitchen. A few minutes later she came back with two cups of coke and then disappeared back into the kitchen again to get the popcorn. "All right, looks like were ready."

"Yes, it does, my lady. I say we start the movie."

"That sounds like an excellent plan," and with that, the movie started.

--

"Admit it, you liked it," Spencer said, eating the last few pieces of popcorn before putting the bowl onto the nightstand.

Ashley shook her head. "It was predictable through the whole movie. The way the teacher looked at her and the way she looked at the teacher, you knew how it was going to end, with them together. Though, I will admit that Jessica Alba has pretty rockin' hair there," she said, stubbornly of course. She actually did enjoy the movie and thought it was cute.

"Come on, Ash, you were basically cracking up through the whole thing and even said 'awww' when they kissed," the blonde argued.

Ashley shrugged. "That part was actually cute, but the whole time you knew they were going to kiss," she argued right back, a small smirk on her face.

"I know you like it," Spencer said and took a sip of her drink. She sighed, looking at the time. "Where's my dad?" she wondered out loud and got up to grab the phone.

Ashley stayed on the couch, grabbing the popcorn bowl and eating the kernels that didn't pop. She got up to look at the other DVDs the Carlin's had, guessing that it'd be her turn to choose next. She saw the time and a show she watched was on so she decided to sit back down and find the remote. She looked up at the blonde she walked back. "What's the news?"

"Dad's stuck at work, and Glen called me saying he's hanging with Madison," she said and plopped onto the couch. "So we're basically home alone."

Ashley smirked at that, raising an eyebrow at the blonde. "You know, most teens would take this as an opportunity to, well, do stuff," she said with a grin.

Spencer rolled her eyes at the brunette and then laughed. "Wow, didn't we make a rule with no sex?"

"But like I said, rules are meant for breaking."

Spencer leaned closer to the brunette, so the tips of their noses were almost touching. "And I said not yet," she said softly and then got up from the couch, grabbing her drink. "I'm getting a refill, do you want more?"

Ashley just nodded, crossing her arms after the blonde had gone into the kitchen. _Damn, this girl can get to me. _When Spencer came back with their drinks, she grabbed hers and turned to the girl. "Hey, you free Friday?"

Spencer thought about it for a second and then nodded. "Yes, I believe I am. Why? You going to ask me on a date, Davies?" she asked with a smirk.

"Well, sorta, I guess. But that all depends on how you feel about Nickelback," she said, subconsciously grabbing her hair and twisting it around her finger.

"I love them! Especially their new song," she said with a smile.

"Then, Ms. Carlin how would you like to accompany me to a Nickelback concert Friday?" she asked, smiling brightly.

Spencer acted like she was thinking about it. "Hmm, let me think about it, Davies. I mean, how do I know that you're not going to molest me or something?"

"Oh, if I was going to do that, I would do it now. I mean hello? We're home alone, it would be perfect," she smirked.

Spencer laughed at the smirking brunette and then nodded. "I'd love to," she said and then smirked. "I was waiting for you to ask me."

Ashley grew a confused look. "To ask you out? Or to ask you to the concert?"

"Concert."

"What, how- Oh, wait, you have Kayla in your third period, hmm?" the blonde nodded. "She did mention her wanting me to ask you," she smirked and then shook her head. "Yeah, well, I'm glad she actually likes you. It'll make becoming friends with her again a lot easier."

Spencer nodded and then looked at the door that opened. Her dad walked through, smiling when he saw his little girl. "Hey, dad," she smiled, getting up and walking over to him to give him a hug.

"Hi, baby girl," he said and hugged her back, giving her a kiss on her forehead.

"Dad, this is Ashley. Ash, this is my father," Spencer said after she had released her dad.

Ashley stood up and walked over to the other two people in the house. "Hi, Mr. C," she smiled.

"Hi, Ashley, nice to meet you," he said and held his hand out.

Ashley shook it. "Same here," she said and then just stood there.

After about a minute of standing there, in sort of an awkward silence, Mr. Carlin broke the silence. "I'm going to go look over some cases. I'll leave you two be," he said, and then gave his daughter a kiss on the cheek before running up he stairs.

"Your dad seems nice," the brunette said with a soft smile.

Spencer nodded her head. "He's the best. When I was little I'd always run to him to get out of trouble," she said with a small smirk and then walked back over to the couch. "Your turn to pick."

Ashley grabbed the remote and changed it back to regular TV. She found her show, seeing Spencer look at her with a look of disgust. "You watch 'Gossip Girl'?

"Why yes I do. Blake Lively is a hottie and Penn Badgley isn't bad looking," she said with a smirk. "Hey, my turn to pick, no whining," the brunette said.

Spencer crossed her arms and looked at the TV. "Ed Westwick is the gayest man on earth, so is Chace Crawford and his stupid slicked back hair. How can you stand this show?"

"It's about lying, cheating, hating, fighting your way to the top, backstabbing, stupid romances, pointless break-ups, and drama. Reminds me of King High a little so it's entertaining. Plus, all show's are basically like it, this has good shit in it," she said with a light shrug. "But I won't disagree with you when you say stuff about Chuck and Nate, they suck," she said.

"Who?"

"Chuck and Nate? Ed Westwick and Chace Crawford, duh," she smirked.

"Whatever," she said and watched the TV.

--

The two girls had spent the whole day together basically, it was around six. They passed the remote back and forth, watching movies on HBO or TV shows that they could never agree on. Though they both did enjoy watching Epic Movie, they cracked up together. Somehow they got into a position where they fit on Spencer's couch- which is very small- both laying on it. Spencer had fallen asleep and then turned over to where she was facing Ashley.

Ashley was afraid to move, scared she wake the beautiful sleeping girl. Ashley was tempted to touch her, to move that strand of hair that was in her face. It ate at her that she wasn't doing it. She had never touched the girl's face, and right now, it seemed like the best idea in the world, to feel the skin that she knew was soft. She tensed up when the girl moved a little, she didn't know why, but she did.

She finally gathered up the strength to move the strand behind Spencer's ear. She did slowly, making sure to very lightly graze her skin to get a feel of it. To the brunette's surprise, younger girl didn't wake up, only shifted a bit. Ashley still wanted to feel her skin though, it wasn't enough to just graze it. She didn't know where these urges were coming from, but she couldn't not listen to them. She bit the inside of her mouth softly and slowly, gently had the back of her hand go over the blonde's cheek.

This time, Spencer's eyes blinked open. Ashley jolted her hand away from the younger girl's cheek, but was still looking into those beautiful baby blue eyes. "Sorry," she said softly.

Spencer shook her head, getting closer to Ashley- if that was even possible- still keeping eye contact with the brunette. "Don't be," she basically whispered, bringing one of her hand onto Ashley's cheek. With the back of her index finger, she traced all of the brunette's face pretty much. Her cheeks, her forehead, her nose, her chin, though she tortuously avoided Ashley's lips. After a few minutes of tracing the brunette's face, she finally brushed her finger of her lips. It was so soft, the brunette wasn't even sure of she was really touching her lips.

The blonde messed with her lip ring for awhile, tracing around it and then the lip ring itself. "I've never kissed anybody with a lip ring," Spencer said softly.

Ashley almost gulped a little bit. It was hard to respond with Spencer still tracing over her lips, but she managed somehow. "I can change that," she responded, her voice was raspier then usual and husky.

Spencer smirked a bit and shook her head a bit at her, but didn't say anything. Instead, she traced her finger down the brunette's jaw and then neck. Ashley almost gasped when she went farther, down between her breast and then under her shirt. As lightly as the blonde could, she traced down the older girl's stomach, stopping at her bully button ring. "You still want to break the rules?"

Ashley's throat had dried through that whole experience of Spencer touching her like that. She had to clear it softly before she answered her. "Only if you want to," she answered truthfully. She joked a lot, but the truth was that she'd never have Spencer do anything she didn't want to do.

The younger girl smiled, leaning her forehead against Ashley's. "What if I want to do what you want to do?" she asked, sliding her hand up her stomach, near her breast, but she didn't really touch them.

Ashley thought about it and smirked a bit. "I'm older then you, it's what you want," she said softly. Her hand wandered to Spencer's free hand and intertwined them.

Spencer leaned her lips closer to Ashley's, but they weren't touching yet. "I want to kiss you," her words blew onto Ashley's lips.

"Then I want to kiss you too," Ashley said, looking into the blonde's eyes.

Spencer smiled and slipped her hand out of Ashley's shirt and onto her cheek. "Screw the rules."

Ashley put her other hand onto Spencer's waist, and nodded. "Yeah, screw em," she said with a soft smile, and then their lips met. It was soft at first, really soft. For about a minute, it stayed that way, just their lips pressed against each other, both of them loving the feeling of the other's lips. Then it turned into something a little more, but it wasn't aggressive or too needy. It was soft, gentle, tender, but at the same time, full of lust.

It might not have been making out, or even close to anything Ashley always described her best kisses were, but this one by far was the best kiss she had ever had. She had no idea what it was, but her heart was beating faster then it ever has, every inch of her body was full of electricity that Spencer's lips were passing onto her.

When the kiss was done, Spencer had turned so she faced the TV, but her back was still close to Ashley. The brunette held the younger girl and had her head near Spencer's, almost sort of on top of Spencer's so she could see the TV, but that's not what she was thinking about. She was thinking about the things that happened pre-kiss and the kiss itself. How it made her felt, and how much she wanted to kiss her again, a little more intense, a little closer.

They stayed close like that, watching 'I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry', Ashley's mind still completely on Spencer.

_I think I'm falling for this girl._

**--**

**Author's Note:**

Sorry it took awhile for the update, but I was busy and it wasn't all that long. 

**The long awaited kiss finally, yay. Stuff still needs to be discussed though and new characters have to be introduced, and the current characters in the story don't even have their problems yet so don't think it's going to glide greatly. Lol. But I don't think I want the problems just yet, I kinda want them to be all corny romantic I love you right now., ya know?**

**But anyway, that new South episode sucked, hmm? Well not sucked, but the stuff that happened was pretty sad because Ky was high when she said that. Stupid ass Jake. I hate the jack off.**

**Anywho, review please.**

**-Nikki**


	7. From Where I'm Standing

**Author's Note:**

It's going to be really short, guys. I want to do a quick update so it won't be long at all.

**Here's the next chapter.**

**By the way, that whole section in italics is a flashback**

**--**

_**Chapter Seven**_

_**From Where I'm Standing**_

Ashley bit her lip, scared to go back into her house. It was almost 12 in the morning. Yeah, sure, she told Brooke that she was going to be late and called her as soon as she left the Carlin residence, so getting yelled at was not the problem for her. It's not like she would've cared anyway because Brooke's definition of getting yelled at was lecturing her, and sometimes the brunette needed to hear it. So that was not the case at all. She was scared to go into the house because she was going to get ambushed by her sister and cousin for her to dish why she was coming home late and why when Kyla called she was so out of breath.

She gulped and got out of the car, quietly closing the door and stood next to her car, looking up at the sky. "God, please let them be sleeping, please. I won't have sex for a week," she said softly and then walked to her front door. She tried to sneak in, but Kyla and Brooke were on the couch with smirks on their faces. _Damn you, God, damn you. _(if anybody is like offended because of that, I'm sorry)

It wasn't quite how Ashley imagined it would be. They didn't jump up and strangle her for some answers, but the way they were looking at her was sorta creepy and she kind of wanted her and Spencer's relationship behind closed doors for a little because for awhile, it being quiet and not talked about, it's fun and cute. It's something only of the two of them know. But that's only for awhile.

"So, it's midnight," Brooke started, her arm crossed in front of her chest, the smirk still plastered on her face. "Did you get laid?"

"No!" Ashley yelled but then got sharp looks from both of her family members, pointing upstairs to October's room. She walked over to them and sat on the coffee table across from the couch the other two were sitting on. "We… we just talked for awhile. At first we watched a few movies, and then _maybe _kissed a few times, more than a few, whatever. And then when her mom got home I pretended to leave, gave you a call which you didn't pick up," she said referring to Brooke.

"I got the message," the oldest brunette said with a nod.

"And then we just talked in her closet."

"In her closet?" Kyla asked, stifling a laugh.

Ashley gave her a pointed look. "Yes, in her closet."

"Did you do it in her closet?" Brooke smacked Kyla upside the head.

"Thank you, my dear cousin," Ashley said with a smile.

"My pleasure."

"Ow," Kyla said, holding the back of her head.

"So, you guys kissed?" Brooke asked, leaning back on the couch. Ashley just slowly nodded, not knowing at all why Brooke was asking this. "Who kissed who for the first one?"

Ashley thought about it and then shrugged. "It just happened. The other times it was a mix," she said with a nod.

"Tell us everything," Kyla said, it almost scared Ashley the way she said it, like she desperate to know. Ashley sighed and then explained, but didn't start with their first kiss, she wanted to keep that between her and Spencer, and so she started after that.

--

_Ashley had no idea she had fallen asleep, but when she woke up, Spencer wasn't there. She looked at the clock and saw that she wasn't sleeping long, maybe thirty minutes. She rubbed her eyes and stretched before calling out for Spencer._

"_Up here!" she heard Spencer's voice say from upstairs. Ashley rose from the couch and walked up there. She walked passed rooms until she found Spencer in one that she guessed was her room. It looked cozy, it was sorta pink though. Ashley didn't hate pink, she wore it every once in awhile, but there was such thing as too much pink and Spencer was right on the line. _

_  
She found Spencer on the computer, in her Myspace accepting a few request and checking some comments. Ashley smiled when she saw that she had made onto the girl's top, number two actually. Number one was some chick named Kimberly._

"_I didn't want to wake you so I occupied myself with the internet," she said, clicking on her comments and looking through them._

_Ashley couldn't help but read the comments as she scrolled down, but replied as she did. "I bet you were looking at porn."_

"You caught me," the blonde said, a smile appearing on her lips as her attention was still on the computer.

_Ashley turned her attention so Spencer's face, her lips to be specific. She was yearning to feel them on her own again, and by the way Spencer was trying to focus on Myspace, so did she. _

_After answering back somebody, she turned to Ashley who caught her lips right then and there. Spencer had been surprised, but instantly kissed back, grabbing Ashley by her hips and bringing her closer, to the point where Ashley was sitting on her. The blonde traced Ashley's lips with her tongue, begging her for permission to enter which was granted and the two's tongue's battled for control which Ashley let Spencer win._

_They had stayed like that until they had to gasp for air when they parted, but their bodies did not move and their lips were still inches from each other._

_Though Ashley was out of breath, she still needed her lips on Spencer, anywhere, just on her. So she started kissing her jaw line and then down to her pulse point where she started to very lightly nibble, suck and lick. She made sure she didn't leave a mark, knowing her parents were kind of strict and if that was found, it would've end so well, so she moved her lips to different parts of her neck. When she heard a moan, she knew that was one of her weak spots and kept a note of it. Her lips ventured up near her ear. She kissed below it before lightly biting the blonde's earlobe. When she earned a moan from just that, she teased her by lightly running her on it. She saw the blonde bit her lip to hold back a moan and smiled, letting go to kiss back down._

"_Spencer?" a male voice called, but it wasn't her father's. Ashley jumped out of Spencer's lap and onto the bed. Spencer acted like she had been on Myspace the whole time. Ashley gave the girl kudos because she was more together then she was._

"_What Glen?" she said in an irritated voice. A blonde boy appeared at the door and leaned against the door frame._

"_I heard you were hanging with that d-," his attention turned to the brunette on the bed who was giving him a glare._

"_Glen, get out," Spencer said, getting up from the computer chair and pushed her brother out the door._

_  
"I was going to say dyke that was hot?" he said, trying to save himself from the death glare that he was receiving from Ashley. The brunette just rolled her eyes and laid on the bed._

_After Spencer got Glen out of the room she laid on the bed next to Ashley. "Sorry about him. He isn't a homophobe, he actually knows about me and knows I like you so he was just going to joke around with it. He's a good brother, he just shows it in a way you wouldn't understand," she tried to reason._

_Ashley looked over at her and shook her head. "I don't care, really. You don't have to be sorry. And trust me, I know about the sibling thing. Most people think me and Kyla hate each other, but that's not the case," she said and put her hand over the blonde's. She smiled a little and Spencer leaned in for a small and short, lip to lip kiss._

--

Kyla looked at her sister, expecting more. "Okay, that doesn't fill to midnight. I mean, you didn't even get to the closet part," she said, disappointed.

Ashley rolled her eyes. "One, I don't have to fill you guys on everything, okay? I chose to tell you some of it, never expect the full amount. And two, it really isn't anything you'd see interesting. It was memories and things we use to do when we were little and favorite colors. Corny stuff," she said with a shrug. _But I loved that conversation, _she thought, almost smiling but held it in.

Kyla huffed a little crossed her arms. "Not fair."

Brooke just shrugged. "That's enough for me. Unlike _some people,_" she looked at Kyla who stuck her tongue out at her. "I know the meaning of a wanting to keep some stuff to yourself, it makes the relationship fun and great and that's how you love them, because you're the only one in the world who knows that stuff," the oldest brunette said and got up from the couch.

Ashley looked at her like she was God. "That's exactly how I feel and want it to be. Thank you for understanding," she said with a smile.

She just smiled. "Well, I'm off to bed, it's sort of late, night," she said and made her way upstairs, leaving the two sisters down there.

"You're probably about to go call her, aren't you?" Kyla said, reading Ashley like an open book, which Kyla did easily.

Ashley glared at Kyla and then thought about lying to her. "No, I'm not, I'm just going to bed, maybe I'll study or something…" _Okay that was the worse lie you ever made, and that's saying a lot._

"Yeah, uh huh, okay," she said and then ran upstairs. "Night," she called before she went into her room.

Ashley slowly went upstairs, thinking about everything that had happened that day and how it was so great. She just dreaded telling Haley and Rae, and if that was lie bad, it was going to get worse when he two best friends ambush her.

When she arrived to her, she took a quick shower and then grabbed her pajamas which was a tank top and some short boxer briefs that she stole from Aiden in 8th grade. She then walked to October's room quietly opening up the door and saw her little angel sleeping silently. She crept in and sat on the bed. She rubbed the little girl's cheek and then bent down to kiss her on the forehead. "You have no idea how much I love you, little girl," she whispered and then kissed her on her cheek this time. She walked out of the room and silently shut the door before venturing back to her room and grabbing her cell phone. She went to her contact lists and then laughed at herself, she never got the blonde's number.

--

**Author's Note:**

I thought it'd be funny to leave it on that note.

**Sorry I haven't updated but I've been busy.**

**  
Reviews, reviews, reviews, please. I love them and some of you guys really crack me up. **

**I'll hopefully update soon**

**-Nikki**


	8. Lips Like Morphine

**Author's Note:**

Love the reviews guys. I'm going to introduce a new OC to the story, and I'm pretty sure she's going to be the last additional character. I may have a guy come too, but he'll just be a friend, this new one is going to interfere with the two. Yes, I know, gasp, haha. But I don't know when I'm going to add her yet

**Oh, and I can't remember who wanted more October scenes, but whoever did, their will be. She's going to be a big character.**

**All here's the next chapter.**

**--**

_**Lips Like Morphine**_

"Momma, momma, momma," October kept saying in Ashley's ear. The older brunette had the sheets over her head, trying to stay asleep since her alarm hadn't rung yet and she was pretty tired. "Get up, mommy. I want to show you something," the little girl said, grabbing the sheets off her mom's head.

Ashley groaned, squinting her eyes since her daughter must've moved the curtains so the sun was in her eyes. She looked at October and then yawned. "What's so important that you have to wake me at," she turned to look at the clock. "5:30 in the morning?"

October grabbed her mom's hand and tried to pull the dead weight off the bed. When Ashley saw that she was leading her out her room, she groaned once again before getting up to follow the little brunette.

Ashley was led to October's room and towards her window which was frosted up a little bit. October pointed outside the window towards the sun that was coming up. "Look, mommy. It beautiful," she said.

Ashley looked out the window and smiled a bit. Her daughter noticed the little things and shared everything, she was so cute. Ashley let go October's hand to open the window and grab a chair, and placed it near the window. She sat down and then grabbed October, putting her on her lap. She wrapped her arms around her and kissed her cheek. "Yes, it is. You know, one time I went on this very roof when I was ten with my…" she paused for a second. She was going to say 'dad' but she hated bringing up that world with her. She always asks where her dad was. "…friend. It was pretty much around this time. It was so cool, like you could grab the sun and take it for yourself. Later, when the sun was going down, we came back up here and watched it again."

October smiled and then looked up at her mom. "Did you make a wish?"

Ashley nodded. "I wish I could have a daughter, and look now, I have one. A very beautiful, smart daughter that I wouldn't give up for the whole wide world," she said, a smile brightly put on her face.

"Wanna know my wish?"

The older brunette shook her head. "If you tell your wish it won't come true."

"But you told me yours."

"I already have you."

October was silent, watching the sun. "Make a wish for now, I am."

Ashley watched the sun also and stayed silent. She bit her lip, not really knowing what to wish for. She was honestly happy right now, she had everything she wanted.

"Did you, momma?" she said, looking up at her mom.

Ashley looked down at October and then nodded. "Yeah, I just did," she said softly and then looked over at what the time was. "Baby, I need some sleep, but how about Auntie's Rae and Haley come over and we all watch anything you want. We can even go to the movies and see 'Madagascar 2'," she suggested.

October nodded with a smile. "Okay, night mommy," she said and got up off Ashley's lap, running to her bed and got under the covers.

Ashley smiled and walked over to the bed and kissed her daughter on the forehead. "Night, baby girl," she said softly and then started for the door.

"Momma?"

Ashley stopped when she was right out door and turned around. "Hmm?" she asked, looking at October.

"I love you," the little girl said, simply, smiling hugely.

Ashley smiled twice as big when she heard those words, for a split second remembering when she didn't hear them when she hardly paid any attention to her little angel; she was glad that she had changed. "I love you, too," she said and then walked out the door and closed it.

--

"_Your favorite color is magenta?" Spencer asked, a little laugh escaped her lips._

_Ashley nodded, smiling a bit. "It's no worse then yours being yellow! That screams gay!" the brunette smirked. _

_Spencer just shook her head. "Shut up," she said, and then sighed. "Tell me about a thing you use to do when you were a kid," she asked Ashley._

_The brunette looked up at the ceiling as she thought about it, subconsciously biting her lip as she did. "When I was about six or seven, I use to sneak into my parents room to make sure they weren't doing the nasty," she said, her smirk had a bit of a disgusted twist to it._

_  
Spencer looked at her with disbelief. "You knew what the nasty was when you were six? I still believed that a bird gave me to my parents."_

Ashley laughed. "I walked in on them when I was five, so they explained to both me and my two year older brother, Brett how we were conceived. Trust me, it was horrifying and the thought of them doing it gave me nightmares so I snuck into bed with them for about a year until they started locking the door. Though it a few months after that, that they got divorced, so not much to worry about afterwards," she said, her smile turning a little sad.

_  
Spencer saw it and slid her hands that were resting on her thigh, over to where Ashley hands were on her own, twining their hands together and giving her a squeeze. "Was it hard going through a divorce at that age?"_

Ashley looked over at Spencer and shrugged. "Yes and no. None of understood what was happening, all we knew was that our dad was moving out and Kyla was… she was pretty much attached to him, scared that she was never going to see him again. I had a little more common sense, I guess, but cried over the fact that I wasn't going to see him as much as I use to. Brett held us together pretty much, even though he was only ten, he acted pretty fatherly to us, telling us he'd be back and such," she shook her head. "If I had to go through life without Brett, I'm not even kidding, I'd kill myself," she said and focused on her hand and Spencer's hand together. 

"_Glen is sorta like that. Not fatherly exactly, but very brotherly and protective. Hell, he was the first to know about me and he helped me through it. It meant a lot to me that he did, too," she said, rubbing her thumb gently against Ashley's._

_  
"Yeah, I know what you mean," she said and looked up at Spencer, smiling at her._

_Ashley was about to say something else but then she heard somebody call for Spencer's name. The blonde jumped up and shut the closet door and grabbed the book she had ready on her bed just incase Paula would come in and laid down, pretending to read it._

"_Spence, it's time for bed, okay?" Paula told her like she was a little kid. Spence just nodded. "It's almost midnight and I hear you talking on the phone so you better hang up with whatever late night boy your talking to and get some sleep, do you hear me?" her mom told her._

_  
Spencer stifled a laugh and just nodded, doggy earring the page and setting it on her nightstand. "Night, mom," she said, getting off her bed and hugging her. "I love you."_

"Love you too," she said and then left Spencer's room.

Ashley stepped out of the closet and then looked at Spencer, making sure the door was closed before she walked over to her and tilted her chin up. "I got to go anyways. I'll see you tomorrow, hottie," she pressed her lips against Spencer's before softly knocking against the wall that was connected to Glen's room. 

_  
A few seconds later, Glen opened the door and grabbed Ashley's hand to lead her out the door. __**She's right, Glen is pretty cool. **__He peeked his head downstairs before to make sure his parents weren't insight before telling Ashley that she could follow, which she did, softly and quickly._

_  
Though, right before she had safely gotten outside, a female voice, that unforenately wasn't Spencer's stopped them._

"Uh uh, Glen, you had a girl in your room?" Paula looked pretty mad. "Is she your girlfriend?"

_  
The two looked at each other, clueless on what to say, and then looked down at their hands still twined together before quickly looking up at Paula and answering. "Yes," they said in unison. _

"_But… but we were just talking, getting to know each other, and stuff," he said slowly and stuttered a few words, obviously scared of his mother._

_  
"Yeah, we didn't do anything," she nodded._

_  
Paula narrowed her eyes at Ashley and crossed her arms. "I saw you yesterday, with Spencer."_

"Me and she are friends, its how me and Glen came to meet," she said, hesitant on most of her words.

"_I thought you and Madison were going out."_

"Oh no, we're just friends," Glen nodded and swayed his and Ashley's hands back in forth for affect. "I'm falling for this girl," he said, nodding his head again and let go of her hand and wrapping it around her shoulder.

_**He went too far. **__Ashley inwardly shook her head, but kept the fake smile plastered on her face._

_  
"Don't ever do this again, Ashley, or you will be forbidden to see any of my kids," Paula said and turned around to go back upstairs. _

_  
As soon as Paula was out of sight, Ashley glared at Glen and smacked his arm. "What the hell? 'I'm falling for this girl'? Are you serious?"_

_  
Glen looked innocent and rubbed his arm. "It was the only thing I could come up with to convince my mom that we're together and not fucking!" he argued._

"But we're not."

"She doesn't know that," he defended.

_  
She pursued her lips together and shook her head. "God, now we have to pretend to be together when your parents are around."_

"At least I'm helping."

"True."

_--_

Spencer was very amused about the fact that Glen was posing as Ashley's boyfriend. It was very entertaining on her part, and the next day in the kitchen definitely made her morning.

"For the last time, no we were not having sex," Glen said as he ate the bagel after he smoothed cream cheese on it.

Paula didn't believe it. "Why else would she be here, Glen? I thought you don't do relationships."

"She changed my mind," he groaned and almost glared at the smirk his sister had.

"Paula, let it be. She seems like a nice girl," Arthur said, taking a sip of his coffee as he settled down to eat the eggs he had scrambled.

"How would you know this?" Paula asked, crossing her arms at her husband.

"Spencer had her over earlier yesterday. I didn't spend quality time with her or anything, but Spencer isn't the type to fall into a bad crowd," he said, confident in his daughter.

"She really isn't a bad person, ma. She just has the image of a bad ass," she said and finished the bagel she had and took a sip of her orange juice.

"Arthur, did you see the girl? Lip ring, Arthur. She looks like a devil worshiper! And didn't Madison say she wasn't into guys?" Paula sounded like a teenager, which made both of her kids just laugh and Arthur raise his eyebrow at her.

"Wow, mom, way to be stereotypical and listen to rumors," Spencer said and then hoisted her backpack onto her shoulder. "Ready, Glen?" Her brother nodded since his mouth was full and grabbed his backpack also.

"Bye, mom, bye, dad," they said in unison as they headed for the door.

"Glen, this talk isn't over," their mother warned.

"Have a good day, kids," Arthur said with a smile.

_Our parents can honestly not be any different._

--

"Hey, Ashley, before you go can I ask you something?" Brooke asked as they were both in the kitchen. Ashley was gathering stuff to take to school and Brooke was making herself breakfast and coffee.

"Of course my dear cousin, shoot," Ashley said and then threw her backpack on her shoulder.

"Can you take care of October today? Clarissa's in town again," Brooke said with a face that she usually made when she asked for favors, a hopeful one.

Ashley nodded. "Yeah, yeah, I was only planning on hanging out with Kayla or Spencer today and they both know about her so it won't do any harm," she said with a smile.

Brooke raised her eyebrow. "Kayla? Haven't heard that name in awhile."

"I know, but hopefully you'll be hearing it a lot more. We're trying to rekindle our friendship," Ashley said.

"Hm," Brooke said and turned around to take a sip of her coffee.

Ashley looked at her. "Hm, what? And if I were you, I wouldn't be talking," she said, referring to Clarissa.

"Hm, I don't think she just wants rekindle a friendship because it's hard to bounce back from that and shut it. We're just friends. Not every girl in the world is a lesbian," she said and took a bite of her cereal.

Ashley shook her head. "I have to go and we're not going engage into this conversation, I'll see you later," she smirked a bit at her cousin and then walked over to her and gave her a hug.

"Bye, my favorite cousin," she said. "But don't tell that to Kyla."

"She doesn't have to, I heard that," Kyla said with a smirk and put her arm around Ashley. "Drive me to school, please. If I drive, I may fall asleep," she yawned and Ashley knew she wasn't kidding.

"Of course," she said and made sure she had everything. "All right, let's be off, little sister."

"Let's do it, big sister."

--

**Authors Note:**

**Okay, it took me awhile to update, sorry, but I had a brainfart. I know that the Glen and Ashley thing was kind of thrown in there, but I thought it'd be funny and it would tie in with the parents. BTW, Brooke isn't a lesbian, the friend is just really close with her and may make an appearance with Brooke or something, but Ashley just messes around with her like that**

**Uh, anyway questions you need answered, I'll answer them and reviews please.**

**Oh, and another quick question. I have three new story ideas and I want to know what you guys want to see for my first one. **

**One is sorta based on 'True Blood', not as much sex and stuff, but the plot and some of the facts will be. Ashley would be the vampire and Spencer would be more of the Sookie character**

**Two is would be based on Definitely, Maybe, and it'd have the whole mysterious thing to it and all that. I just love the movie but I'm not sure if the idea would take**

**And last but not least is something along like horror movies lines. Like a scary movie with the cast in it. I was thinking about doing a Saw thing, but I thought that'd be way too morbid or dark or something, so I'm not sure if I am or not because if I did, it'd be a short fic so I can easily do it. But if I did a horror movie one, I need ideas from you guys if you can help me. **

**I'll love you forever –smiles adorably-**

**-Nikki**


	9. Ready When You Are

_**Author's Note:So, long time no see, huh? Sorry it took me so long to update but I've been so busy. The chapter isn't the longest but I think a lot happens in it. Just to let you know now, sad ending. **__**L**__** Cars will be on hiatus because I can't muster up a good second chapter, I really can't. Saw will probably not be continued cause I'm not demented and I can't do it. I have an idea that came to me though, a little on the scary side, supernatural type thing in mind, but I want to finish a story before I start a new one. I also still want to do a vampire type story for Spashley cause that's hot lmao. Anyway, before I forget, I've had a few complaints about Kayla's name and how it's too close to Kyla, so I changed it to Stacey. So when you see Stacey in here, remember that she use to be Kayla, okay? Okay **__**J**_

_**All right, that's it.**_

_**Hope you enjoy**_

_**--**_

_**Chapter Nine**_

_**Ready When You Are**_

_The brunette softly stroked Spencer's hair as she watched the gorgeous blonde sleep. They had been in that position on the couch for about an hour now. They went straight to Spencer's house right after cheer practice and since nobody was home, they decided to cuddle. The day went normally; Madison bitched, Rae and Haley were still being gross after a week of being out to the school, Stacey had stayed with them with cheer practice and made fun of them, and Ashley longed to hold Spencer like this all day._

_No girl had ever, __ever _did that to her like Spencer did. She could honestly say she was in love with the girl and she had known her what? A week and a few days. It scared Ashley, but at the same time, she loved it. She trusted this girl with stuff she couldn't trust people she knew her whole life. Take it, half of those people hate her and would spread rumors about her in a heart beat, but that's besides the point. She was falling for this girl, and she was falling for her fast.

The Nickelback concert turned to be a fabulous event. Ashley was dreading it, having Stacey, herself, and Spencer in the same room, she thought it'd be the weirdest thing in the world, but it turned out it wasn't. It was fun, funny, and inside jokes were made between the three of them. Though, Spencer and Ashley did get their quality time together because Stacey and her 'not' girlfriend were off doing god knows what in the bathroom. It's not like Ashley's never done it before in a bathroom, but not at a concert. It seemed fun but she rather watch the show.

The two danced to Ashley's absolute favorite song 'Far Away' while she sang the lyrics in Spencer's ear. A heated make out was exchanged and it was nice. She was just glad nobody from school was there because her girlfriend was far from ready to come out yet.

_Girlfriend?_ Though the two had more then enough alone time, they had never talked about what their relationship was. Ashley would love to ask her, but she was never the one to start up a conversation like that one, but she wanted too. What better way do it by waking the sleeping beauty this very second?"Spence…" she said as she lightly shook the girl, kissing her jaw line to help wake her up.

"Hmmm?" it was a half hum, half moan kind of thing since Ashley had made her way to the blonde's neck and was lightly nibbling it.

Ashley pulled back and bit her lip as she looked at the blonde in front of her. "Be my girlfriend," she said looked stunned for a few seconds, before her mouth twitched into a smile and she nearly decapitated Ashley by hugging her so tightly. "Of course!" she yelled and kissed her. Ashley kissed her back, smiling into it.

The brunette deepened the kiss, she straddled Spencer and ran her hands along Spencer's sides before making her hand her fingertips. She placed her hand at the end of Spencer's shirt, and hesitantly let it stay there, not knowing how to ask if she could slip her hand under. She didn't want to go to far, she just wanted to feel Spencer's exposed torso.

Spencer pulled back and looked at Ashley, raising her eyebrow. Ashley didn't know what to say but before she could, Spencer talked. "What are you waiting for?" that wasn't what Ashley expected to come out of her mouth.

_This girl is just full of surprises. _She bit her lip as Spencer watched her pull Spencer's shirt up a little, looking at the girl's flat but toned stomach. She gulped a bit as she let her fingers trail lazy lines up and down her stomach. She traced Spencer's tattoo. It wasn't the first time she had actually seen it outside the library the day they had met, but still. She loved it. She glanced up at Spencer, wondering if she thought it was weird, but she smiled at her, before grabbing Ashley and turned her over so Spencer was now the one on top, straddling Ashley.

She instantly lifted up Ashley's shirt and did the same thing. She traced Ashley's toned abs and messed with Ashley's bellybutton ring, making the brunette laughed cause it tickled her. Spencer smirked and was about to tease Ashley with her tongue, but the door opened and the two flew as far as they could from each other on the couch."Madison is such a fucking needy, clingy girl! I'm not even dating her but she needs me to go pick her ass up. I refuse to do it, I am not whipped!" Glen yelled to no one. He didn't know the girls were in the house.

The two started laughing, and Glen looked over at the two of them, caught off guard that somebody heard his loud ramble. "Madi getting on your nerves?"

He looked at his sister before caving in as he walked over, sitting in between the two girls, going on and on how Madison expects him to do everything a boyfriend did just because they were sleeping together. The two girls tried not to laugh as they burned a good thirty minutes hearing the blonde boy ramble. "How do I get her to stop?!"

"Turn gay?" the brunette suggested, raising her eyebrow.

Glen gave her look before shaking his head. "I am not turning gay.""Why? You and Aiden can totally get it on," Ashley said with a shrug, acting like she was serious but on the inside she was cracking up.

Both of the Carlin siblings made a face before shivering. "Ew," they said at same time.

"Don't start with the Double Mint Twins thing cause that scares me. I make sure me and Ky don't do that," the brunette smirked, but the two blonde's still had a look of disgust.

"Aiden tried to hit on me the other day. It was life scarring," Spencer said and looked at Ashley.

Ashley raised her eyebrow, jumping over Glen so she could be next to Spencer and wrapped her arms around her girlfriend. "Want me to get Haley to beat him up?" the brunette suggested. The girl she was holding slowly nodded before tilting her head up so their lips met.

Glen's mouth went a ajar and he flew up. "That's not even cool! I'm right here! And I'm pretending to be your boyfriend so… numph," he groaned as he heard the two snicker while they kissed but didn't part. "Fine, be disgusting losers. I'm going to go commit suicide," he didn't leave his spot so he could see what the two were going to do.

"Have," kiss. "Fun," the brunette mumbled to Glen as she slid a hand down to Spencer's thigh.

The blonde boy turned around without another word, his eyes wide with fear as he walked up the stairs to his room. "I'm never hanging out with them together anymore," he muttered to himself when he got up to his room. The thoughts of his sister and her girlfriend wouldn't leave his mind so he did what any other guy would do if they were stuck in his situation. He walked to his computer and went to a recent website links he was on, going to the lesbian porn site he had found. Hey, at least it'd be two other girls making out… maybe three.

--

The two girls laughed when Glen was out of sight, but didn't move from their position from each other."We probably should harass him less. He is doing something for us," the brunette said as she leaned into Spencer's arms.

"Yeah, but isn't a little sister's life dedication is to harass her big brother?" she pointed out.

The brunette thought about it for a few seconds before nodding. "True," she smirked and intertwined their hands. She brought the blonde's hands up to her mouth and lightly kissed it.

"You're just a romantic at heart aren't you, Davies?" Spencer teased her new girlfriend."A little, but I can also be the girl that's a freak in the sheets," Ashley said and turned her head so she could see Spencer's reaction. It was an eye roll and a small smack on Ashley's arm. That was something she had been earning a lot recently. The brunette pouted and rubbed her arm. "What it's true.""I'm better then you," Spencer pressed with a smirk.

Ashley looked at her with a raised eyebrow and then matched her smirk, turning her body so she was on top of Spencer face to face and grabbed her hands, pinning them just above Spencer's head. "Oh really now? Maybe we should see if that's true," she said in a husky voice, looking straight into the blonde's eyes.

Spencer was tense as she looked up into Ashley's chocolate orbs. She'd be lying hugely if she said that Ashley didn't just turn her on a little bit. She knew that the tan girl on top of her was just teasing her. They did that constantly but Ashley had no idea how much she wanted to do that at the second. So she caught Ashley's lips with her own, making the kiss deep and passionate in the beginning. She wanted to wrap her arms around Ashley's neck but they were still pinned down by Ashley's, which was a little sexy.

Their tongues dueled for awhile, fighting for dominance but Spencer eventually let Ashley win. Spencer noted that the kisses that made her moan were usually the ones that Ashley had control of.

The brunette jolted back, causing Spencer to worry that she did something wrong but that worry went away when Ashley digged into her pocket to fish out her phone.

Ashley held her finger up as she answered it. "Hey," she said, her voice involuntarily husky from the kiss.

"Tobey will not stop bugging me about seeing Stacey, Rae, and Haley," her sister said. Ashley smiled when she heard October calling her name in the background.

"Tell her I'll come pick her up and take her to Rae's house. Haley's already there so I'll call Stace," Ashley said as she messed with the buttons on Spencer's shirt, furthering her teasing with her.

"All right, see you in a little.""Later," she closed the phone and then bent down, giving the blonde a small kiss before getting off of her. "Tobey wants to hang out with her aunties," she paused for a second and cocked her head to the side. "You want to meet, Tobey?" over that week, Spencer still hadn't met Ashley's little girl.

Spencer bit her lip and made a face. "Ash… it's nothing against both of you, it's just. I don't know. I'm not ready to meet my girlfriend's daughter. It's a big step for-"

"Spence, it's fine. I get it," Ashley said with a smirk. "It took Stacey forever to see the baby too," she said and then smiled. "Well, I got to go, see you later," she said and then turned around.

"Bye brownie."

"Later, blondie."

--

"Momma!" October yelled as soon as the brunette stepped foot into the house. The little girl ran to her mother who picked her right up and placed her onto her hip."Hey baby girl," she kissed her on the cheek and then looked at Kyla. "Where's Brooke?""Our with Clarissa," she said merely as she flipped through the magazine she was looking through. "Mom called.""Oh yeah. What'd she say?" she asked as she stayed near the door. She was going to leave soon to take October to see her aunties. Thankfully, Kyla had done the liberty of dressing her in clothes and getting her ready.

"She wants to stop by soon. Da- I mean Raife and Brett may come too," she said, biting her lip as she looked up from her magazine. Kyla did not want to be the one to have to listen to Ashley explain to Tobey that she didn't have a dad. That he was an asshole who just wanted sex from Ashley.

The older brunette nodded, not knowing what to say. They hadn't heard from both of their parents all that much in the past year but Brett always called once every two days to check up on the two girls. "All right, well, we'll talk more about it later. I'm going to take Tobey to see Rae and Hales. Stacey can't come cause she's with her 'not' girlfriend," she said, using air quotes for effect. Stacey was never the one to be in a committable relationship before and after the two's break-up. That's what Ashley felt bad the most about, she probably made the girl more scared of being hurt.

"All right, see you two later," Kyla said and looked back down at her magazine, flipping the page.

"Later," October said, making her aunt and mother laugh.

--

"I really like her, Tobes. Maybe even love her," Ashley was baring her soul out to her two year old little girl. Maybe it was because for a two year old, she was super understanding, but she didn't know why. "Are you okay with me having a girlfriend?""If she's pretty," October said, slurring her words.

The older brunette couldn't help but laugh when she heard that. "She's super pretty, baby. I think you'll love her.""Can I meet her soon?" Tobey asked excitedly.

"Of course, baby girl. We're working on a time," she said and glanced in her rearview mirror to just barely see October. Her daughter really did look a lot like her, it was un-canning. She pulled into Rae's driveway and parked the car. She took her keys out of her Lamborghini's ignition and then got out of the car. She went to the backdoors and opened it, getting October out of her car seat and hoisting her on her hip as she closed the door and locked her car. She went up to the door and was about to go right in cause she was allowed until she heard yelling. She stopped dead in her tracks and then looked at October. She turned around and walked back to the car, unlocking it.

"Tobey, I'm going to need you to stay in the car for a second, okay?" she told her as she put her back in her car seat and put her seatbelt on. Thankfully, her little girl still couldn't figure out how to take it off so she didn't have to worry about her causing havoc.

"Why?" the little two year old asked curiously.

"Because I said so," she said with a forced smile. She poked her little girl in the nose before looking back in the house. She turned back to October and took her phone out of her front pocket. "No putting it in your mouth, do you understand?" she told October as she handed it to her. "I'll be write back," she saw that Tobey was quickly entertained as she messed with her phone, holding it to her ear as she pretended to talk on it. She closed the door and locked it, thanking whoever invented tint. She slowly walked back to the front door and then opened it quickly. Her heart dropped when she saw Haley and Rae in nothing but their underwear getting yelled at by Rae's homophobic father.

The three people in the house head's turned when Ashley had opened the door to reveal them. Rae's father looked completely red as his finger pointed at her, his whole body trembling. "You!" he roared. "It's all because of you, you gay little fucker!" he yelled at her and almost looked as if he was about to go and kill the brunette.

"No, dad! It's not her fault! It's all me. I love Haley!" she sobbed.

Haley was a short distance away from her, scared to touch her girlfriend without getting beat by her father but her heartached to do so. Her clothes were in her hand, but she couldn't put them on. She was still in complete shock that they had gotten caught in the act.

"Don't you talk to me, you disgusting piece of filth! You will not go down this road, do you hear me!? You will change whether you like it or not!" he said, he wasn't even making eye contact with any of the girls anymore. "I want you two out of here right now! Wait til your mother gets home, Rachel. You just wait," he said before he stormed away from the three girls who couldn't move.

Right after her dad left, Rae fell to the floor in sobs, holding her face in her hands. Haley was by her side in milliseconds, Ashley shortly after that.

The brunette had rested her head onto Rae's shoulder as she lightly rubbed her back soothingly. "It's okay, Rae-Rae, it's okay," she told her softly, using the nickname she called her to cheer her up.

Haley couldn't say anything, she just held her broken girlfriend. Everything was still processing in her head and she didn't know what to do.

After a minute or two, Rae's sobs calmed down and she looked at her best friend and girlfriend, sucking in a deep breath. "You two better go. It'd be better for the three of us," she told them.

As much as they hate to admit it, it would be true. One of them probably wouldn't make it. That's how homophobic her parents were. Haley's were bad enough, but not nearly as bad as Rae's. The Dennison's were understanding and let Ashley come over, but it was as if Ashley was horny boy when she was there. No closed doors and not too much touching. But with Rae's parents, it'd be lucky if she wasn't kicked out.

--

After a little more persuasion, the two of them left, closing the front door after them. Haley had gotten dressed, but she looked messy. Her hair in a messy ponytail and her shirt was hardly buttoned up enough, but the two best friend's didn't really notice.

Haley looked up at her best friend, and then broke, flinging onto her best friend and letting out loud and long sobs right outside Rae's front door. She couldn't break in front of Rae, but with Ashley, she could do it easily. Ashley had seen the strong girl break more then she wished, but she was a little glad that she was the one who got to cheer her up. Except for right now.

Ashley didn't say anything as she just let her shoulder get damped by Haley's tears. Her body shook frantically as her sobs became stronger.

After a few minutes, Haley had wiped her tears and let go of Ashley. "I can't lose her," Haley said softly.

"I know, babe. You won't," Ashley said as she looked through the tinted windows of her car. "I have Tobey in the car, so I'm going to go home. If you need to stay the night, don't hesitate, okay?" she told her best friend who merely nodded and left without another word to her car. Ashley sighed and walked over to hers, unlocking the door and getting in.

"Why is Aunt Haley sad?" October asked as soon as Ashley had gotten into the car.

She sort of expected the question, but it didn't make it any easier to hear. "We were practicing for a play," she lied to her daughter. She just didn't want her to know the harshness of reality just yet.

"It's a sad play?"

"Very sad play.""Does it end happy?" she asked as she clicked buttons on her mom's phone."I sure hope so," the brunette said with a weak, fake smile.

--

**Author's Note:So it's not all that long but hey, at least I updated, right?So, a lot of fluff in the beginning and then a sad ending. Sucks right, but you gotta love it.**

**Just in case you didn't read the beginning Author's Note, Kayla's name was changed to Stacey. That's who Stacey is. I just don't want anybody to be confused.**

**Okay, so reviews please. Hopefully I didn't bore my reviewers away for taking so long to update. But this chapter took me forever to do. Sort of because I didn't know what to write about but I started it like a week ago lmao.**

**But anways,, review please. I love them and they keep going.**

**Thanks**

**-Nikki**


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